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Band 6

Some individual act in an anti-social way, such as committing the crime. What are the causes behind such behavior? What are some solutions?

#act #crime #behavior
few
people
 behave in an anti-social way,
such
 as doing a
crime
. there are so many possible causes behind
such
 acts. today will discuss some of the reasons for it and solutions to it. in the below essay. Nowadays,
Crime
 is increasing day by day as there is a lack of education because of that lot of individual are not getting jobs in the industry and society will find the easy way to survive their needs is a
crime
. It is the most powerful and depressing path of life where
people
 earn more money as compared to the job.
for example
, online fraud is the biggest booming sector of
crime
. lots of population back accounts got zero because of
this
 fraud
also
 online marketing in that the product photos on online
platform
Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
show examples
 is different and received products different from the picture. The solution to the problem is to stop giving our personal bank details information to anyone by organising an awareness campaign to educate
people
 regarding online scams.
also
 prefer to do online shopping from genuine pages like Amazon and Flipkart.
People
 should not share their private or personal card numbers on unknown calls which will reduce the
crime
 rate in every part of the world.
Moreover
, to avoid roadside scams we can place the camera on each road. In conclusion, Everywhere there are scams, and frauds to avoid we must be aware of where we can spend money and whom we should trust. It is an independent choice of their own. but education is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 most important key to avoiding
crime
 in society. thank you.
Submitted by akankshayhedaoo10 on

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coherence cohesion
- Enhance the coherence between sentences and paragraphs by using transitional phrases to create a smoother flow. - Expand on specific points and provide more detailed explanations to improve clarity and depth. - Ensure precise and accurate language usage; review grammar for sentence structure improvements.
task achievement
- Utilize more precise vocabulary and phrases to express ideas clearly. - Provide more nuanced examples to strengthen the argument. - Avoid phrases like 'thank you' in formal essays to maintain academic tone.
coherence cohesion
- The essay includes an introduction and a conclusion, which is good for structure. - Relevant examples are given to support points, particularly regarding online fraud. - The writer has addressed both causes and solutions, providing a balanced approach.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • upbringing
  • parental guidance
  • social norms
  • socio-economic factors
  • poverty
  • unemployment
  • inequality
  • peer pressure
  • mental health issues
  • substance abuse
  • desensitize
  • early intervention
  • consequences
  • law enforcement
  • justice system
  • deter
  • mental health services
  • treatment
  • positive role models
  • mentorship
  • community engagement
  • pro-social behavior
  • supportive environment
  • inclusiveness
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