IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

ou should spend about 40 minutes on this task. It is observed that in many countries not enough students are choosing to study science as a subject. What are the causes? And what will be the effects on society? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

#ou #minutes #countries #students #study #science #effects #society
It is
analyze
Wrong verb form
analysed
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 that in most countries, not sufficient
students
 are choosing to study
science
 as a subject. One major cause is the perception that
science
 is difficult and demanding. Many
students
 find
science
 subjects challenging, particularly those involving complex concepts and rigorous problem-solving. 
This
 perception can be reinforced by negative experiences in the classroom,
such
 as uninspiring teachers or a lack of support from peers. Another contributing factor is the increasing popularity of other academic
fields
,
such
 as business and technology. These
fields
 are often perceived as offering more lucrative career opportunities and greater job security, which can make
science
 seem less appealing to
students
. The decline in
science
 education has several potential effects on society. 
Firstly
, it can lead to a shortage of skilled professionals in critical
fields
such
 as medicine, engineering, and research.
This
 shortage can hinder technological advancements, economic growth, and the development of solutions to global challenges like climate change.
Furthermore
, a lack of scientific literacy can make it difficult for citizens to make informed decisions about important issues that have a scientific basis,
such
 as public health, environmental protection, and energy policy.
This
 can lead to a decline in critical thinking and a greater reliance on misinformation and pseudoscience. In conclusion, the decline in
science
 education is a complex issue with multiple causes and significant consequences. Addressing these challenges requires a multifaceted approach that involves promoting
science
 education, fostering a positive perception of
science
, and providing
students
 with the necessary support to succeed in these
fields
.
Submitted by cranjal07 on

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task achievement
To enhance task achievement, include more specific examples or case studies to support your points. For instance, reference specific countries or studies where the trend is prominent.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, use transition words and phrases to smoothly connect your ideas and ensure that each paragraph logically flows to the next.
introduction conclusion
Your essay has a strong introduction and conclusion, which frame your arguments well.
task achievement
You've effectively outlined the causes and effects of not choosing science as a subject, which demonstrates comprehension of the task prompt.
clear ideas
The essay presents ideas clearly and comprehensively, making it easy to follow your argumentation.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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