IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

It is suggested that everyone wants to have a car, a television and a fridge. Do disadvantages of this development for society outweigh advantages?

#car #television #fridge #development #society
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is considered by some people that, everyone desire to have their personal vehicles, a TV and a refrigerator.
Although
Linking Words
, it is responsible for the wastage of
electricity
Use synonyms
 and fuel ;
however
Linking Words
, I believe that the latter outweigh the former and will discuss my viewpoints in the forthcoming paragraphs. To commence with, the drawbacks of having own pieces of equipment are considerable.
Firstly
Linking Words
, an increasing number of cars on roads are the main cause of air pollution, which leads to creating global warming and disturbing the environment.
Secondly
Linking Words
, own instruments
such
Linking Words
 as fridge and television are responsible for wastage of
electricity
Use synonyms
 and money, because they are using it for long hours, as a ,result forced to pay more bills.
For instance
Linking Words
, a survey was conducted in the South in 2016 and
resulted
Add the preposition
inresulted
fromresulted
show examples
 53% rose in demand for
electricity
Use synonyms
, due to every house having personal equipment. On the opposite side, the merits of everyone having personal transportation, a TV and a fridge are legitimate. Primarily, it does not only makes life easier for every person on the earth but
also
Linking Words
 make it more comfortable. People can easily move from one place to another by saving their precious time. Secondarily, they can entertain themselves in front of the television by watching different shows and
also
Linking Words
 become aware of the world's news. To justify, the Theme study has been shown that, advanced technology made life more comfortable. To conclude, while, there are few disadvantages of having personal goods
such
Linking Words
 as an increase in pollution and
electricity
Use synonyms
 wastage;
however
Linking Words
, I believe that advantages are undeniable like more entertainment and easy commuting.
Submitted by Sohandeepkaur9327 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: