IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people choose to travel abroad to learn a foreign language instead of studying in their hometown. Do the advantages of learning a new language in this way outweigh the disadvantages?

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In contemporary society, learning multiple languages is pivotal.
While
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 some individuals think that going overseas to communicate with native speakers is the greatest method to learn a foreign
language
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, others believe that just staying in their own country
improve
Correct subject-verb agreement
improves
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 it. I will clarify
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this
Correct determiner usage
the
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 conflict between these two ideas from my point of view. Let’s talk about the drawbacks of going far away from your nation to study a
language
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. First of all, money is the most crucial thing. You need to think about
many
Correct article usage
the many
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 kinds of expenses that ought to spend when you go abroad. Transportation like flights, vehicles
as well
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as
Correct word choice
and
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 living costs
such
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 as food,
lodging
Correct word choice
and lodging
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 the charges that must be considered.
In addition
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, ones who travel to a different culture for the first time
maybe
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may
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 feel lost. A strange environment probably makes people fear because that’s the human instinct.
Nevertheless
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, what you have spent might be worth it. In your hometown, you hardly speak with people who use the
language
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 you are learning as your mother tongue. But there, you’re living with
this
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language
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, every speaker, every sign on the road or even everything you see is totally
this
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language
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.
On the other hand
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, travelling abroad makes you bolder,
first
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and first
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 impressions are difficult to integrate, but don’t worry, you will be used to it. After all, you can approach not only
this
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language
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 but
also
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 the whole culture of
this
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 nation.
For instance
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,
instead
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 of using an idiom just because you learned it by rote, now you clearly understand it.
That is
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 when your mind is expanded, don’t miss these opportunities. In conclusion,
according to
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 my
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perspective
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perspectives
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perspective
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, despite some complications, the positive results of going to a new civilization can dominate. Certainly, your aim
language
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 will be significantly better,
besides
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, you will gain more
further
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.

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task response
Provide a more focused and specific response to the task prompt, addressing both advantages and disadvantages of learning a new language abroad. Ensure that the introduction clearly outlines the writer's position on the issue.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the organization of ideas by using clear topic sentences for each body paragraph and ensuring that ideas are logically connected within and between paragraphs.
lexical resource
Expand the range of vocabulary to express ideas more precisely and effectively. Avoid repetitive language and consider using more academic or formal vocabulary where appropriate.
grammatical range
Develop more complex sentence structures and pay attention to sentence variety and accuracy. Review the use of articles, prepositions, and verb tenses for greater grammatical accuracy.
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