IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In many countries, smoking is now illegal in public places. Many people believe that such a ban is justified. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is no denying the fact that smoking plays a crucial role in shaping public
health
Use synonyms
 policies.
While
Linking Words
 it is a commonly held belief that smoking
bans
Use synonyms
 in public places are justified, there is
also
Linking Words
 an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider the impact of smoking
bans
Use synonyms
 on public
health
Use synonyms
 and societal well-being cannot be overlooked.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, smoking
bans
Use synonyms
 have significant effects on public
health
Use synonyms
.
In other words
Linking Words
, prohibiting smoking in public places reduces exposure to secondhand smoke, which is known to cause various
health
Use synonyms
 issues
such
Linking Words
 as respiratory problems and heart disease.
In addition
Linking Words
,The challenges posed by secondhand smoke require urgent attention and action.
For example
Linking Words
, after Ireland decided to ban smoking in all indoor workplaces, there was a significant decline in lung cancer and other lethal diseases among restaurant and pub workers, leading many other countries to adopt similar measures. Another point to consider is that smoking
bans
Use synonyms
 influence societal well-being in various ways. It is
also
Linking Words
 possible to say that creating smoke-free environments promotes a healthier lifestyle and reduces the social acceptability of smoking. A law prohibiting smoking in public areas forces smokers to leave the company of everyone else if they want to have a cigarette. Most people dislike feeling ostracized, and
this
Linking Words
 can provide excellent motivation to quit.
For instance
Linking Words
, social pressure brought about by smoking
bans
Use synonyms
 is often cited by ex-smokers as one of the reasons they gave up the habit. In conclusion, despite people having different views, I believe that addressing smoking through public
bans
Use synonyms
 is essential. By implementing and enforcing smoking
bans
Use synonyms
 in public places, we can protect public
health
Use synonyms
 and enhance societal well-being. Individuals and organizations should support these measures to ensure a healthier and cleaner environment for everyone.
This
Linking Words
 prevents innocent people from developing
health
Use synonyms
 conditions caused by passive smoking and reduces the number of smokers.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay provides a clear and comprehensive response to the prompt, effectively discussing the reasons for supporting smoking bans in public places. To further improve, consider addressing counter-arguments in more detail, as this could provide a more balanced view.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that all paragraphs logically flow from one to another. While your points are clear, enhancing transitions between paragraphs and ideas will improve the overall coherence of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the argument and providing a concise summary.
task achievement
You have included relevant and specific examples, such as the impact of smoking bans on public health in Ireland, which strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well structured with each paragraph discussing a distinct point, which helps in understanding your argument clearly.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • secondhand smoke
  • prevalence
  • respiratory issues
  • environmental pollution
  • litter
  • healthcare costs
  • smoking-induced illnesses
  • encourage smokers to quit
  • public health improvement
  • justified
  • public spaces
  • exposure
  • non-smokers
  • inconvenience
  • younger populations
What to do next:
Look at other essays: