Some people think that it is beneficial for children to do paid work, while others think that it can be harmful for children. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

It is argued that whether or not kids should

work

and earn salaries at

such

young ages. It is by no means clear that children should

work

and get paid as we will discuss there. On the one hand, it is reasonable for children to earn money so that they could afford tuition for higher or

further

education. The situation can be usually seen in the least poverty areas, where parents fail to give financial support to the

generation.

Secondly

, they may have a better understanding of career and society. Students may know more about jobs and

work

systems, helping them choose ideal fields in the future.

However

, with increasing funds and donations put to ease the rural education problem, universities are more accessible to teenagers in the hinterland than before.

Finally

, job attempts could

also

be realized by some internship or field trip programmes, which seem to be more effective.

On the other hand

, working for money possibly means suffering from lots of strain.

For example

, job increments, perks or other financial rewards are often target-related. Only when you meet the objectives or pass the performance reviews can you have great job prospects or career progression, all of which only bring high pressure to adolescents and

thus

lead to mental health problems.

Furthermore

, spending more time on

work

reduces the time for study, which is the most important task for young populations. They may fail to pass testing procedures and attain poor academic achievements.

Lastly

, the danger young people may occur when they are outside schools and homes should be considered. Staying with strangers for long periods are more likely to be influenced by negative peer behaviours or even be victims of crimes like robbery, murder. To sum up, with more investments and job-trying programmes, there is no need for juveniles to raise money by getting vacations, which may make them exposed to stress, poor study and even life threats.

Submitted by kev4313 on Sat Oct 30 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

322 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

beneficial
harmful
advantages
disadvantages
financial independence
responsibility
valuable skills
impact
education
exploitation
negative effects
social life

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Some people think that it is beneficial for children to do paid work, while others think that it can be harmful for children. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

many people strive to maintain a successful career and happy family at the same time.what problems can this create?what are the possible solutions?

Some people say it is important to keep your home and your workplace tidy, with everything organised and in the correct place. What is your opinion about this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

Traditional schooling is no longer necessary, since more information is accessible on the internet and students can study just as well at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

owadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?

Some people think that businesses should provide sports facilities for employees.Others consider that a person's health is their own responsibility, not a company's problem. Discuss both views and give your opinion.