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Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Only people who earn a lot of money are successful. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

#people #money #support
Some
individuals
 think that
success
 could be measured only by wealth.
However
, in my perspective to be successful is not to be rich. Our history content plenty of examples of persons, who were successful but lived and died in poverty.
Success
 is measured by the value of contribution to human development, which each specialist could bring, but not by the value of their salary. It should be pointed out that a successful person could earn much
money
 only if his specialization was demanded. And if the specialization was not sought-after and was not in priority, the wage level would not be high.
For instance
, persons who have achieved
success
 in the sphere of medicine, writing, entertainment, policy, might earn a lot of
money
, due to the fact that their specializations are valued by domestic society. At the same time, the level of funding areas like science, ecology, archaeology, is too low, which does not allow specialists from these sectors to be wealthy. The
second
 point, which could influence the financial status of
individuals
 is the prosperity of countries' economies.
Thus
, if a country had a bad economic situation,
individuals
 would not be able to earn a big salary, no matter how successful they are.
However
,
this
 factor could not prevent persons to do their best to facilitate science and technology.
For example
, one of the most influential people in medicine, who worked in Vietnam, the country with a low economy, Carlo Urbany. He has created the protocol, which helped to restrict spreading the virus SARS, which,
finally
, has saved millions of lives.
This
 person is one of the brightest examples of successful
individuals
, who did not earn much
money
, but has brought remarkable results to humanity. Taking the above-mentioned into consideration, not being rich is not mean not being a
success
. These two factors are not bounded, the
first
 could exist without the
second
 one. In my opinion,
success
 has a wider meaning, which could not be limited by
money
.
Submitted by ospanovaalma7 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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