IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In some countries university students live away from home and in another cities wile study. Do you think the disadvantages outweigh the advantages of living in another cities?

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Nowadays, the pedagogical system has developed as compared to the past.But in many nations, students have to migrate to another place
due to
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 higher schooling.
This
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 essay is in the discussion of merits and demerits and concludes with whose dominating.
To begin
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 with, undergraduates have a plethora of benefits as they live apart from their families. Because they will get self-dependent and gain an understanding of
life
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life's
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struggle
Fix the agreement mistake
struggles
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.
For example
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, many learners have been migrating abroad for academic purposes,
thus
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 they acquire a knowledge of adapting to changes and hindrances of life.
As a consequence
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, their self-esteem and confidence in many aspects of life are enhanced.
Moreover
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, migrated
students
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students'
student's
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 finance organizing skills have upsurged. As they have to manage and earn their own money for survival expenditures and other expenses. So, in the
of
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apply
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ahead time period, they do not face any kinds of financial hurdles. The aforementioned facts are strengthening the advantages more with the relevant instances.
On the contrary
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, new university students do have not much experience
to adapt
Verb problem
with
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 new environments alone as
the
Correct article usage
apply
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high schools are a very caring training system, so they
did
Wrong verb form
do
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 not get a chance to face the adaptation of a new place.
Thus
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 they can
get
Verb problem
apply
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panic and sometimes can be engaged with homesickness.
Apart from
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this
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, when learners get in the blue, there will be no family members to care for,
consequently
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,
,
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apply
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consequently
Add a comma
consequently,
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 they can get worse health conditions.
For instance
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, many surveys have claimed that university learners get some serious illness problems as they do not have anyone who cares for them at that time and they
also
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 do not have the experience to handle that. these leading facts
are made
Wrong verb form
make
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 pupils
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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not migrate for higher education.
To conclude
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,
although
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, it is true that pupils face
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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hindrances
while
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 they get away from family for
further
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 university education. Yet, I strongly believe that they can manage those problems and can adapt to the environment of a new place.
As a consequence
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, their inner personality will increase

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task response
Provide clearer and balanced analysis of both advantages and disadvantages of living away from home for university students.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion need to be more developed and clearly present the overall scope of the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • independence
  • self-reliance
  • responsibilities
  • cultural exposure
  • personal growth
  • open-mindedness
  • professional network
  • job opportunities
  • internships
  • financial strain
  • homesickness
  • adjustment issues
  • loneliness
  • anxiety
  • academic disruption
  • accommodation
  • familiar surroundings
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