IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

With deforestation, urban development and illegal hunting, many animal species are becoming endangered as they lose their habitat and some are even threanted to the point of extenction. Do you think it is important to protect animals? What measures can be taken to deal with the problem.

#deforestation #development #species #habitat #point #extenction #animals #measures
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Over the past few decades, people all over the globe are showing concern
how
Change preposition
about how
show examples
 to protect
species
Use synonyms
,
plants
Use synonyms
 and stop poaching because individuals are facing several
problem
Change to a plural noun
problems
show examples
. In my opinion, it is extremely essential to protect them from
cause
Add an article
a cause
the cause
show examples
 that makes their existence in danger. In, the forthcoming essay, I will articulate some reasons and suggestions regarding
this
Linking Words
 notion.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, due to the rising growth population and fulfil their basic demands are the predominant reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
desertation
Correct your spelling
dissertation
. It is
also
Linking Words
 the cause for animals extinction
thus
Linking Words
 they are losing their inhabitants as well as there are some
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 of
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
 for their dwelling they just hunt
species
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, we need to protect them because they are sources of human food as well as without them balance of
Correct article usage
the eco-
show examples
eco- system
Correct your spelling
eco-system
show examples
 can be disturbed .
Moreover
Linking Words
, many
disaster
Change to a plural noun
disasters
show examples
Add a missing verb
have taken
show examples
taken
Add the auxiliary verb
took
has taken
show examples
 place like , drought, lowing water
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, the world environmentalists
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 been conducted a survey and reported that 69% of disaster are
Correct article usage
the results
show examples
results
Fix the agreement mistake
result
show examples
 of folks irresponsible behaviour.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are
couple
Add an article
a couple
show examples
 of
measure
Change to a plural noun
measures
show examples
 which help to protect endangered
species
Use synonyms
,
plants
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the government should launch
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 awareness campaign in social media and in schools because communities can
lean
Correct your spelling
learn
show examples
importance
Correct article usage
the importance
show examples
 of those
species
Use synonyms
 and
plants
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the official authorities impose
law
Fix the agreement mistake
laws
show examples
 as well as give capital punishments
also
Linking Words
.
For instance
Linking Words
, in Bangladesh, to protect endangered royal
bangol
Correct your spelling
bangle
bang
 rigger pass law for their conservation. To conclude, in my point of view as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
 we need to protect animals and
plants
Use synonyms
 because they are the source of our lives.
Submitted by mahmuduts on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: