Some people think that the success of life is based on hard work and determination. Others, however, believe that there are more important factors, such as having money or a good appearance. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
People
believe being successful is essential for individuals. There is a known belief among some Use synonyms
people
that hard Use synonyms
work
and determination are the keys to Use synonyms
success
in life. Use synonyms
However
, another group of Linking Words
people
think that some extra factors like a wealthy and attractive looking play a role in being successful. Use synonyms
This
essay will argue both sides, and Linking Words
finally
, I will explore my own Linking Words
idea
.
On the one hand, hard Fix the agreement mistake
ideas
work
could be one of the successful ways that lead to achieving goals with patience and ambition. On Use synonyms
this
side, it considers hard Linking Words
work
Use synonyms
is
a necessary factor for achieving Wrong verb form
to be
success
. Use synonyms
For example
, one of the brains and co-founders behind Google's Linking Words
success
is Larry Pages, was influenced by technology since he was a child and worked hard till, he launched Google, his famous words “Always deliver more than you expect”. The hard Use synonyms
work
and determination could be the path of Use synonyms
success
for everyone in Use synonyms
this
world.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, more Linking Words
money
and attractiveness target only the unconscious minds of Use synonyms
people
. In the worldwide, Use synonyms
people
with extra Use synonyms
money
and good looking not target to develop counties economies or even knowledge. Use synonyms
For instance
, there are many Linking Words
people
who could have extra Use synonyms
money
and good looks, but they are not successful and have huge issues in life like failing in relationships, jobs, studying and even don having self-confidence. Use synonyms
Money
and looking are not beneficial for everyone to be successful.
Use synonyms
To sum up
, hard Linking Words
work
is the main factor in achieving the objective and the key to Use synonyms
success
. Use synonyms
However
, Linking Words
people
cannot be successful by only having more Use synonyms
money
and a good appearance. In my opinion, Use synonyms
people
need to Use synonyms
work
more and more to reach their goals and become more successful in life, extra Use synonyms
money
and good looks could help sometimes but Use synonyms
people
do not rely on these aspects.Use synonyms
Submitted by hsmkashi on
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Task Achievement
Be sure to delve deeper into the topic with specific examples to strengthen your arguments. Adding real-life examples can make your points more convincing and comprehensive.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on creating clearer and more direct topic sentences for each paragraph. This will help to ensure that your main points are immediately clear to the reader.
General Advice
Try to vary your sentence structures and vocabulary to make your essay more engaging. Using a wider range of vocabulary and syntax can enhance the readability of your text.
Task Achievement
Ensure your conclusion sums up your arguments more distinctly. A strong, clear conclusion reinforces your points and gives your essay a satisfying sense of closure.
Task Achievement
Good job on covering both viewpoints as well as providing your own opinion on the topic. Your balanced approach is commendable.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present and effectively bookend your essay, helping to provide a clear structure.
Coherence & Cohesion
You have made a good effort to support your main points with explanations, showing a connection between your ideas and the overall topic.