There are many benefits for young people who travel to other countries. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #travel #countries

It has been over decades

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

since transportation by planes has emerged. Many

people

use air transport

instead

of travelling by ships or trains for many purposes,

such

as relocate their place, holiday break in others

countries

Moreover

, in the present, due to the decreasing cost of air transport, many young

people

have travelled to other

countries

to open their world or views. According to

this

, some say that

this

travelling will be beneficial for those young

people

. The following paragraph will be discussing my agreement.

Therefore

, the conclusion has been reached.

To begin

with, I agree with the statement because the following reasons.

Firstly

, I believe that

this

will make young

people

realise what they want to do in the future or live in what

country

that they have visited.

Secondly

, they will have more experience than young

people

that have stayed in their

home

country

because all

countries

provide a different experience.

Lastly

, about the culture, they will have a chance to learn other cultures, languages and what local lives how it differs from their

home

In addition

, there is a chance for these young

people

to grow more than stay in their

home

country

This

will make them know how to deal with problems that happen by themselves because once they choose to travel to other

countries

, they need to live by themselves.

Moreover

, it will make them be the world citizen not just only their

country

citizen which is an essential thing for them if they want to do something in the future, they will not stick in their

home

country

but go for their fortune in others nation.

For example

, every

country

have different policies and regulations,

this

will make them know which

country

suit their thing that will be done in the future. In summary, I believe that the former and latter paragraphs have been provided with all of the reasons why it would be beneficial for young

people

to travel to another

country

Submitted by satoshi.nmtd on Mon Nov 01 2021

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for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

329 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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There are many benefits for young people who travel to other countries. Do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

: More and more people are migrating to cities in search of a better life, but city life can be extremely difficult. Explain some of the difficulties of living in the city. How can governments make urban life better for everyone?

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All children should be made to wear school uniform. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that in all levels of education from primary school to universities, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that Bangkok Metropolitan Administration should invest in the expansion of the underground railway system instead of roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this idea?