There are many benefits for young people who travel to other countries. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #travel #countries

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

It has been over decades

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

since transportation by planes has emerged. Many

people

Use synonyms

use air transport

instead

Linking Words

of travelling by ships or trains for many purposes,

such

Linking Words

as relocate their place, holiday break in others

countries

Use synonyms

Moreover

Linking Words

, in the present, due to the decreasing cost of air transport, many young

people

Use synonyms

have travelled to other

countries

Use synonyms

to open their world or views. According to

this

Linking Words

, some say that

this

Linking Words

travelling will be beneficial for those young

people

Use synonyms

. The following paragraph will be discussing my agreement.

Therefore

Linking Words

, the conclusion has been reached.

To begin

Linking Words

with, I agree with the statement because the following reasons.

Firstly

Linking Words

, I believe that

this

Linking Words

will make young

people

Use synonyms

realise what they want to do in the future or live in what

country

Use synonyms

that they have visited.

Secondly

Linking Words

, they will have more experience than young

people

Use synonyms

that have stayed in their

home

Use synonyms

country

Use synonyms

because all

countries

Use synonyms

provide a different experience.

Lastly

Linking Words

, about the culture, they will have a chance to learn other cultures, languages and what local lives how it differs from their

home

Use synonyms

In addition

Linking Words

, there is a chance for these young

people

Use synonyms

to grow more than stay in their

home

Use synonyms

country

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

will make them know how to deal with problems that happen by themselves because once they choose to travel to other

countries

Use synonyms

, they need to live by themselves.

Moreover

Linking Words

, it will make them be the world citizen not just only their

country

Use synonyms

citizen which is an essential thing for them if they want to do something in the future, they will not stick in their

home

Use synonyms

country

Use synonyms

but go for their fortune in others nation.

For example

Linking Words

, every

country

Use synonyms

have different policies and regulations,

this

Linking Words

will make them know which

country

Use synonyms

suit their thing that will be done in the future. In summary, I believe that the former and latter paragraphs have been provided with all of the reasons why it would be beneficial for young

people

Use synonyms

to travel to another

country

Use synonyms

Submitted by satoshi.nmtd on Mon Nov 01 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

329 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?
Despite the agriculture field has developed, the number of people who experience starvation continues to increase. Various factors contribute to this issue, but potential solutions can be proposed to address it effectively.
6
band
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Some people say that modern technology has made shopping today easier, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion You should write at least 250 words.
The improvement of technology has brought game-changing in people's habits more flexible including shopping, while some people are not sure that technology leads to an easier life. In my personal opinion, I believe that technology has been made to help humans doing difficult things bemuch easier, specifically in terms of shopping.
5
band
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. In Some Countries, Celebrities Complain About how The Media Publicize Their Private Lives. Some People Say that They Should Accept It as Part of Their Fame.* Do You Agree or Disagree? You should write at least 250 words
In certain parts of the world, well known people whine about how their private today life is shared. However other people think they should agree to it because of their popularity. In my own opinion l strongly disagree with this because celebrities should not accept the consequence of their fame.
<4
band
People use the Internet for medical advice and to do medical check ups rather than directly meeting with doctors in an office. Why are they using the Internet for this? Is it a positive or a negative development?
In this modren era, due to the advancement of technology everyone has access to internet and people use it for different purposes on daily basis. Online usage for medical advice is also become common which save energy and time .
6.5
band
Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
This is a heated discussion about whether History or Science and Technology is the most essential class for students in recent years. I believe they are more or less relevant to each other, and schools need to offer both subjects.

There are many benefits for young people who travel to other countries. Do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Some people say that modern technology has made shopping today easier, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion You should write at least 250 words.

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. In Some Countries, Celebrities Complain About how The Media Publicize Their Private Lives. Some People Say that They Should Accept It as Part of Their Fame.* Do You Agree or Disagree? You should write at least 250 words

People use the Internet for medical advice and to do medical check ups rather than directly meeting with doctors in an office. Why are they using the Internet for this? Is it a positive or a negative development?