IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Childcare training courses should be mandatory for all parents. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your own opinion and include relevant examples.

#childcare #courses #parents
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Nowadays, Infant
care
Use synonyms
becomes
Wrong verb form
has become
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 crucial for
parents
Use synonyms
.
However
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, it is believed that childcare training courses are compulsory for new
parents
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. I completely agree with
this
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 statement and will provide
further
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 details in the course of
this
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 essay.
To begin
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 with, the imperative part of being
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
a parents
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parents
Fix the agreement mistake
parent
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 is to take
care
Use synonyms
the
Change preposition
of the
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 children in all situations. In the modern era, new
parents
Use synonyms
facing
Wrong verb form
face
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difficult
Replace the word
difficulty
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on
Change preposition
in
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 taking
care
Use synonyms
 of children because it
is consider
Change the verb form
is considered
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as
Change preposition
apply
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a new part
in
Change preposition
of
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 their life.
For example
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, if a
3 year old
Add a hyphen
3-year-old
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hit
Correct subject-verb agreement
hits
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on
Change preposition
apply
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the table or
swallow
Correct subject-verb agreement
swallows
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 any small things, the
parents
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 become anxious without knowing what to do.
Consequently
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,
due to
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lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of parental experience, each time when infant creating these scenarios which
inturn
Correct your spelling
in turn
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 brings
the
Correct article usage
apply
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confused state in
parents
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. To overcome
this
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, childcare training will provide the adequate knowledge which helps them to take
care
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 of their babies
Furthermore
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, In
olden
Correct article usage
the olden
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 days, we lived in
society
Add an article
a society
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 where each family had elders and grandparents who
look
Wrong verb form
looked
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 after the
newborn’s
Change the noun form
newborns
newborn
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.
This
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ease
Change the verb form
eases
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 the new
parents
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 to
brought-up
Verb problem
bring up
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 their offspring.
For instance
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, a friend of mine brought up their infants in a joint family since the couple has to work for dual income. But, The
emerge
Replace the word
emergence
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 of
nuclear
Add an article
the nuclear
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 family creates
situation
Add an article
a situation
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 where there are no elders to
guide
Correct pronoun usage
guide them
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.
As a result
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, many families
likely
Add a missing verb
are likely
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 to join a course schedule which elaborates
the
Change preposition
on the
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 necessity of
care
Use synonyms
take
Verb problem
apply
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.
To conclude
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, in my perspective by considering the aforementioned reasons, I opine that childcare training should be
obliged
Replace the word
obligatory
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 for all
parents
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 which prevent the unnecessary fear and stress of raising up in adolescence.
Submitted by priyankasumathi21 on

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task response
Ensure a clear introduction that states your opinion and previews your main points. Develop each body paragraph with specific examples and explanations. Conclude by summarizing your arguments and restating your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Improve coherence by using transition words and phrases to connect ideas within and between sentences. Ensure a logical progression of ideas throughout the essay.
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