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Band 5

Childcare training courses should be mandatory for all parents. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your own opinion and include relevant examples.

#childcare #courses #parents
Nowadays, Infant
care
becomes
Wrong verb form
has become
show examples
 crucial for
parents
.
However
, it is believed that childcare training courses are compulsory for new
parents
. I completely agree with
this
 statement and will provide
further
 details in the course of
this
 essay.
To begin
 with, the imperative part of being
Correct article usage
a parents
show examples
parents
Fix the agreement mistake
parent
show examples
 is to take
care
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 children in all situations. In the modern era, new
parents
facing
Wrong verb form
face
show examples
difficult
Replace the word
difficulty
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 taking
care
 of children because it
is consider
Change the verb form
is considered
show examples
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a new part
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their life.
For example
, if a
3 year old
Add a hyphen
3-year-old
show examples
hit
Correct subject-verb agreement
hits
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the table or
swallow
Correct subject-verb agreement
swallows
show examples
 any small things, the
parents
 become anxious without knowing what to do.
Consequently
,
due to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of parental experience, each time when infant creating these scenarios which
inturn
Correct your spelling
in turn
show examples
 brings
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
confused state in
parents
. To overcome
this
, childcare training will provide the adequate knowledge which helps them to take
care
 of their babies
Furthermore
, In
olden
Correct article usage
the olden
show examples
 days, we lived in
society
Add an article
a society
show examples
 where each family had elders and grandparents who
look
Wrong verb form
looked
show examples
 after the
newborn’s
Change the noun form
newborns
newborn
show examples
.
This
ease
Change the verb form
eases
show examples
 the new
parents
 to
brought-up
Verb problem
bring up
show examples
 their offspring.
For instance
, a friend of mine brought up their infants in a joint family since the couple has to work for dual income. But, The
emerge
Replace the word
emergence
show examples
 of
nuclear
Add an article
the nuclear
show examples
 family creates
situation
Add an article
a situation
show examples
 where there are no elders to
guide
Correct pronoun usage
guide them
show examples
.
As a result
, many families
likely
Add a missing verb
are likely
show examples
 to join a course schedule which elaborates
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
 necessity of
care
take
Verb problem
apply
show examples
.
To conclude
, in my perspective by considering the aforementioned reasons, I opine that childcare training should be
obliged
Replace the word
obligatory
show examples
 for all
parents
 which prevent the unnecessary fear and stress of raising up in adolescence.
Submitted by priyankasumathi21 on

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task response
Ensure a clear introduction that states your opinion and previews your main points. Develop each body paragraph with specific examples and explanations. Conclude by summarizing your arguments and restating your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Improve coherence by using transition words and phrases to connect ideas within and between sentences. Ensure a logical progression of ideas throughout the essay.
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