IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#internet #newspapers
Communication at present is important to social media online which makes for fun and real-time to read and learn about something. it affects a newspaper in hard copy less popular in the present. In
this
 essay, I neither agree nor disagree and I extend reason in the below paragraphs.
Firstly
, I would describe the advantages of the
Internet
. Nowadays, many
people
 in the world can connect to communities around the world and have content on social media. which is easy to connect.
For example
,
people
 can read a piece of breaking
news
 on mobile phones or tablets in real-time or any place where they live in another place. And you can choose categories of
news
 when you want to read.
In addition
, the content you can comment on your mind on social and exchange knowledge with other
people
 on the
internet
.
In contrast
, The
internet
 has disadvantages.
For instance
, Some
people
 make fake
news
 and share stories online that make bad
news
 and do not correct knowledge for children because everyone can create everything on the
internet
.
Second,
Deteild about newspaper has a benefit in some
people
.
For example
, Reading
newspapers
 on paper is safe for your eye. And
newspapers
 can practice to concentrate at the moment.
However
,
Newspapers
 have drawbacks
such
 as not updating in real-time, the present number of
newspapers
 increasing it can not
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
find a store to sell it, and the
last
 reason
newspapers
 can not sort the type of content. In my opinion, I think that the
internet
 is good access to learn if you use the good part and
newspapers
 have some
people
 like to read but less popular in the present.
Submitted by phatkhunnok on

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Structure
Work on structuring your essay more clearly with distinct introduction, body, and conclusion sections. This will help improve the logical flow and the overall coherence of your essay.
Task Response
Try to directly address the question in the introduction and conclusion, making your viewpoint clear. This will improve task achievement and make your essay more focused.
Complexity
Enhance the variety and complexity of your sentence structures to improve your coherence score. This will make your essay more engaging and demonstrate a higher level of English proficiency.
Relevance
Despite the clear attempt to provide examples, aim to make your examples more directly relevant and detailed to the specific points you are discussing. This will strengthen your argumentation and clarity.
Balanced Argument
You have provided a balanced view by discussing both sides of the internet versus newspapers debate.
Use of Examples
You have made an effort to use examples to support your points, which is good practice in essay writing.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Access
  • Convenient
  • Fast
  • Expensive
  • Wider range
  • News sources
  • Perspectives
  • Readership
  • Demographics
  • Physical
  • Tangible
  • Reading experience
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