Computers are often argued to be the most important invention of the last hundred years. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
It has been widely discussed about if
computers
are the most important invention since one hundred years ago. I partially agree with the perspective that computers
are important but there are some pros and cons worth discussing.
First of all, computers
increased women's participation in the workforce, which is an obvious benefit to the economy. After more workers joined the workforce, the overall
society could be more productive. This
is because the invention of computers
created many jobs
that do not require physical strength, such
as accountants. It allows women to showcase their advantages, for example
, their carefulness and awareness of minor mistakes.
However
, technology developments also
pose certain risks. For instance
, some low-skilled jobs
, such
as customer service and sales, will be replaced by artificial intelligence
. This
means that without control, the unemployment rate would increase. Also
, technologies such
as artificial intelligence
would consume a vast amount of electric power. Carbon dioxide, a greenhouse gas, would be emitted indirectly while
training those artificial intelligence
models through the consumption of electric power. This
would contribute to global warming and deplete human resources that could be used for developing other industries.
Furthermore
, computers
also
could increase the rate of heart disease. This
is because most jobs
that are related to computers
usually require workers to sit in front of them. In other words
, workers who use computers
to complete their jobs
do not get enough exercise, which increases the risk of heart disease. Additionally
, because users often do not rest their eyes while
watching screens, they might become short-sighted.
To conclude
, I believe computers
should be considered an important invention, but not the most important. However
, we need to take actions such
as educating people to use them in a healthy way or instituting laws to mitigate artificial intelligence
's impact on the economy.Submitted by jamexhuang on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
The essay could benefit from a clearer stance on whether computers are the most important invention, with more elaboration on the importance compared to other inventions.
task achievement
The second point regarding the negative impacts lacks specific and relevant examples. Consider using statistics or case studies to strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
Craft sentences with varied structures to enhance clarity and readability, thereby improving overall coherence and cohesion.
introduction conclusion present
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion that frame the discussion well, showing thoughtful consideration of the task.
supported main points
Main points are well supported, with pros and cons clearly outlined, contributing to a balanced analysis.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!