Some people say that music is a good way of ringing people of different cultures and ages together to extent do you agree or disagree with this opionion.

Music
is becoming increasingly important in our lives. According to some
people
,
music
can be a powerful instrument for connecting
people
from various cultural backgrounds and reducing the gap between the younger and older generation. I completely agree with
this
notion due to the following reasons.
Music
can be beneficial for
people
in many ways including, creating a sense of establishing connections with other no matter who you are or where you are or you come from. It is possible to say that
music
is
one
of the most important elements of human culture, and when
music
from
one
culture is shared with
people
from another, they get a meaningful glimpse into another way of life.
Music
not only makes
people
feel better and closer to others but, it
also
can bring us back memories.
One
good illustration of
this
is that when you are at a concert or a
music
festival, you are not worried about who is standing beside you. You are there for the
music
, to feel the lyrics flow. You are there to have the full experience and to feel connected with the words and in turn whomever you are with.
That is
why I believe
music
brings
people
together. No
one
is concerned about other
people
's background, culture, race, ages or genders; most
people
that attend concerts and
music
festivals are not there to judge others. Concerts provide an excellent venue for interacting with
people
from all walks of life. In my country, where is Thailand,
people
from all races, ages, religions and generation backgrounds come together at concerts nearly, for a moment and sing together
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
In conclusion, it seems to me that
music
is unique in its capacity to bring
people
together, not only eliminating the age gaps but
also
generating cultural unite.
Submitted by dr.phitsineevet4 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: