Children today play very violent games. This must be the reason for the increase in violence and crime in most major cities of the world. What are your opinions on this?

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The youth plays many extremely violent

games

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that are assumed to cause the growing threats of violence and crime in various metropolises. The writer of

this

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essay insists that

such

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games

Use synonyms

can not only be used for relieving stress but

also

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for bonding friendships and expanding the friend circle. Whether a child plays

games

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for entertainment, it must be understood that

games

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help alleviate the tension. To explain

further

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, choosing to play

games

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is a method of reducing the pressure faced at school as their parents no longer have enough time to communicate with the children.

As a result

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, more and more

games

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are played by teenagers in

this

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modern age, including violent

games

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, as they bring the children the feeling of conquest and satisfaction.

For example

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, recent research has shown that lots of adolescents in Vietnam have played

games

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such

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as Free Fire and PUBG with friends for amusement. Another point worth mentioning is that playing

games

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can be used with the aim of fostering friendship. What the writer means is that

games

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are places in which the

players

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can communicate and develop better playing skills,

therefore

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the relationships between

players

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can be strengthened by connecting with those who play the same online

games

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. Professional

players

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for instance

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, who have been training and playing together for years can have a tight-knit connection. What is more, playing

games

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will develop new relationships and extend the friend zone of

players

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. To be specific, there are many choices for

players

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to choose partners or rivals, even international ones.

Subsequently

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, the circle of friends will be extended

while

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playing online

games

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. Taking gaming streamers as a prime example, who play

games

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on live stream and connect with other gamers,

thus

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they gain a bunch of benefits from others. Briefly, despite being criticized that violent

games

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can aggravate the quality of cities, the writer firmly believes that mitigating pressure,

building

Correct word choice

and building

show examples

and creating friendship are the benefits of playing

games

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Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhàWed Aug 07 2024

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task achievement

To improve your essay, ensure that each point is consistently linked back to the main argument about violent games and their impact on violence and crime. Adding a counterargument and refuting it could provide additional depth.

coherence cohesion

Try to use more varied vocabulary and complex sentence structures to enhance the sophistication of your writing. Also, make sure that your examples are more directly tied to your main points.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a well-defined structure with clear paragraphs, which makes it easy to follow.

task achievement

Each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, making your arguments clear and comprehensible.

task achievement

You provided relevant examples to support your main points, which adds credibility to your arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

325 words

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Children today play very violent games. This must be the reason for the increase in violence and crime in most major cities of the world. What are your opinions on this?

Include an introduction and conclusion

In many parts of the world people do research in family history. Some people believe research on previous generation to be useful while others say that it is better to focus on present and future generation.discuss both views and show your opinion.

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

some parents are worried about the increasing level of violence in TV, videos games and other types of entertainments for children's leisure. how does this affect children. How do you think the problem can be tackled?

The older people who need employment have to compete with younger ones. What problems can this create? What are some solutions?