IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

#cultures #children #message
Needless to say, it is crucial for a child’s development to get support from their parents, relatives or teachers. Offsprings of some cultures are often made to believe that they can succeed in anything they want if they put enough effort into it.
This
 essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of
this
 practice. On one hand, telling a child to try hard has numerous advantages.
First
 of all,
this
 can boost its self-confidence and give it motivation and inspiration to be hard-working, making it hopeful that anything is possible.
This
 results in better mental health which can impact its adult years.
Furthermore
, making a kid put effort into its interests builds up a strong will and determination, which are actually key features of successful people. It
also
 helps children be less resilient to trying new things later on in life, as they do not compare themselves to the more skilled than them, but rather work harder to succeed. On the other side of the coin,
this
 practice has some flaws. One downside is that telling youngsters to try hard to succeed can set them unrealistic expectations of the world, where they will think that anything is possible.
This
 can cause a distorted sense of self, which can lead to an adult unsure of their skills later on in life. If a kid is trying very hard and is not succeeding, it may lower their self-esteem and make them prone to self-criticizing. Another thing is that
such
 children grow into overachievers who do not know when to give up.
For example
, teenagers who spend day and night studying to be top of the class are a product of
this
 message. To summarize, telling kids that they can achieve anything if they put hard work into it provides them with support, motivation and determination, which are essential for their personal development.
However
,
this
 practice can lead them to grow into adults with unrealistic worldviews and low self-esteem.
Submitted by galya.1972 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • achieve
  • try hard
  • positive mindset
  • self-belief
  • motivates
  • ambitious goals
  • resilience
  • determination
  • confidence
  • self-esteem
  • growth mindset
  • unrealistic expectations
  • disappointment
  • failure
  • effort
  • hard work
  • seek support
  • individual differences
  • abilities
  • capabilities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: