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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

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It is argued that the arts are just as valid as other
subjects
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, especially for primary school children.
This
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 essay agrees with that statement because in artistic
subjects
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,
students
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 can discover their potential talents early on, and they give them the chance to express their feelings. An introduction to arts-related
subjects
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 at an early age allows
students
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 to discover what they are good at. Not everyone has a gift for academic
subjects
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such
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 as mathematics or science and many
students
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 may not realise their potential in other areas if they do not have the opportunity to first try these
subjects
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 at school.
For example
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, in schools without
subjects
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such
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 as music, art and drama,
students
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 may be reliant on their families to introduce them to
such
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 activities, which means many will not even have the opportunity to try.
Furthermore
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, creative
subjects
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 allow young
students
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 to share what they are feeling with others. Unlike in science
subjects
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, activities
such
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 as singing, painting, and acting remove inhibitions and give a platform to indirectly show student’s feelings through these artistic mediums.
This
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 can help detect emotional problems within a child which may not have
otherwise
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 been expressed.
For example
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, school psychologists can tell much more about a young child’s emotional state from a painting they did in art class than they can from a history project. In conclusion,
this
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 essay agrees that music, art and drama are of equal value to other
subjects
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 in the primary classroom because they enable all children to discover aptitudes outside the narrow academic focus, and they provide an opportunity for pupils to express their emotions.

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task achievement
To achieve a higher score, further develop the body paragraphs by adding more varied examples or counter-arguments. This will demonstrate a deeper engagement with the topic.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs by occasionally summarizing points made and linking them to the next point, for better coherence and cohesion.
introduction conclusion present
Clear and concise introduction and conclusion that effectively present and summarize the main points of the essay.
logical structure
Strong logical structure that presents arguments in a coherent order.
relevant specific examples
Relevant specific examples support the arguments well, enriching the essay's content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • holistic development
  • fostering
  • emotional intelligence
  • problem-solving skills
  • cultural awareness
  • curriculum
  • engaging
  • memorable
  • nurture
  • talents
  • core subjects
  • academic
  • professional success
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