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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe famous people's support towards international aid ,organizations draws the attention to problems, while others think celebritiesmake the problems less important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #support #aid #organizations #attention #celebritiesmake
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Nowadays, some
people
Use synonyms
 consider celebrities to play an important role in worldwide aid. At the same time,
however
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, others argue that pop starts involving public affairs distract social focuses. There is some uncertainty about both sides of the debate. In
this
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 essay, I will review both sides of the debate to seek a conclusion.
To begin
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 with, there is no doubt that famous
people
Use synonyms
 have a prodigious number of supporters who tend to follow their idols in each aspect,
such
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 as worldwide aiding, fundraising, and varieties charity performances.
Moreover
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, pop stars with
irreplaceable
Add an article
the irreplaceable
show examples
 social value could set an excellent example of engaging and attracting fans involved in charity activities, which could benefit our society.
Furthermore
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, It is an excellent way to make
people
Use synonyms
 focus more on social affairs while building stars’ good reputation of the whole society ，which in turn provides them with more opportunities to run the business and prompt the development of the economy.
On the other hand
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, opponents think it has a negative effect on the nation because some of them merely take advantage of their model effect to draw more attention,
instead
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 of paying attention to the issues, which would cause damage to
people
Use synonyms
’s emotions and social ethics evaluation standard. To summarize, there is no doubt that stars play a vital role in international aid. At the same time,
however
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, some celebrities are using their popularity as a tool to make more wealth. In the final analysis,
therefore
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, one can conclude that it would be better if authorities made effective and detailed laws to regular their international aid
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
.
Therefore
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, famous
people
Use synonyms
 could participate in some aiding activities based on the law, which could help build a positive cycle of the society.
Submitted by liqinan158 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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