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Band 5

THERE ARE SOME MOTIVES FOR PEOPLE TO DO WORK.SOME PEOPLE THINK MONEY IS THE MOST IMPORTANT. DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE.

#motives #people #work #money
Everybody has
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
 perspective to do their jobs but some believe that wealth is very important. I strongly disagree with
this
 idea. To commence with,
work
 is
very
Add an article
a very
show examples
 crucial part of an individual’s life because it determines the capability, well-being and social status of a
person
.
Additionally
, going to
job
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
 gives internal satisfaction to the
person
 who loves his/her job.
For instance
, if an individual is working as a team member at a multinational company that
person
 will have
motivation
Change the article
the motivation
show examples
 to get up in the morning and go to
work
 not only for money as well as to grow the abilities to become successful in that field and reach the top of the ladder to become
manager
Add an article
a manager
show examples
 or chief executive officer at that company. It is undeniable that
psychological
Correct article usage
the psychological
show examples
 status of a
person
 is
also
 related to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
employment because if a
person
 chooses to do
job
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
 in the field of interest
then
 it will improve the productivity of the individual.
Moreover
,
level
Correct article usage
the level
show examples
 of satisfaction will be high because that
person
 will be able
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
get
Change the verb form
getting
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 sense of freedom and happiness which will automatically result in personal growth and development as a human being and improvement in self-confidence, independence and self-reliance.
For example
, if a
person
 is not happy with the
work
 he/she is doing, they can get easily bored and distracted because of
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of sense of completion which can result in low morale and confidence.
Furthermore
, they end up ignoring their mental health and go to
work
 only for bread and butter. Summing up, I believe that, other factors are
also
 responsible for working and
than
Replace the word
then
show examples
 finances only for materialistic things.
Submitted by kmlprt034 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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