Large companies use sport events to promote their products. Some people think this has a negative impact on sports. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#companies #sport #events #products #people #impact #sports

Some people are of the opinion that advertising

products

in occasional

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

events

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

disadvantaged impacts on sports. From my perspective, while

this

argument can be explained for some reasons, I very disagree with

this

statement because big

companies

will bring a lot of benefits for economics and organizations as well as members

Add the particle

to belong

show examples

belong

Wrong verb form

belonging

show examples

to national teams. It is understandable that why some people subscribe to the view that commercials in

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

events

are not relevant for watchers, especially youngsters, who are part of audiences of almost

Correct quantifier usage

all sport

show examples

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

events

This

is because several

manufacturer’s

Fix the agreement mistake

manufacturers’

show examples

products

are not good for

healthy

Replace the word

health

show examples

such

as: tobacco, wine.

This

can lead to unpredictable consequences, which easily attracted the young generation to form

unhealthy

Correct article usage

an unhealthy

show examples

lifestyle

Fix the agreement mistake

lifestyles

show examples

or less-minded actions when they use it.

However

, I

finds

Change the verb form

find

show examples

this

argument somewhat compelling points since mass big corporations advertising in

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

tournaments can help them increase the numbers of both potential domestic and international customers

coming

Add the preposition

tocoming

show examples

their

products

this

is largely contribute

Change the verb form

largely contributes

show examples

into

Change preposition

show examples

economic

Correct article usage

the economic

show examples

growth of

nation

Add an article

the nation

a nation

show examples

. Another significant advantage is that allowing big

companies

participating

Change the verb form

to participate

show examples

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

events

can split the cost of organizations or transmit motivation to

players

. If one tournament has some good

players

get

Change the verb form

gets

show examples

championship

Correct article usage

a championship

show examples

league, large corporations will express supports through several gift or money, which

companies

donate for impressive or good

players

in order to pay for preparations of the

tournaments or practice and equipment cost.

Furthermore

, it is seemly like a means of transport bringing footballers that become more closer with the public and they play

Change the article

show examples

role model in the young generation, especially fashion, lifestyle and some positive messages. In the

way

Add a comma

,way

show examples

that big

companies

use player’s

image

Fix the agreement mistake

images

show examples

to put into commercials or

invited

Wrong verb form

invite

show examples

celebrity

players

to take part in their product TV show. In conclusion, there are several

advantageous

Replace the word

advantages

show examples

from big

corporation

Fix the agreement mistake

corporations

show examples

attending

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

events

advert

Replace the word

advertise

show examples

their

products

is that increasing economic growth and sharing the cost of tournaments as well as contributing some supports as

sport

’s image and gift for

nation

Replace the word

national

show examples

team.

Submitted by haovtm14401 on Wed Nov 03 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

336 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
Some people say that in all levels of education, from primary schools to universities, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills, Do you agree or disagree?
Some people think that most part of educational schemes, from schools to universities, investigate the learning time on theoretical skills rather than practical ones. I agree with this argument.
6.5
band
Young people are often influenced in their behaviours and situations by others in the same age. This is called “peer pressure”. Do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages?
In modern society , associated stress become an increasingly important issue with students or those who are studying and working . They are compared and influenced by people of the same site, same ability or location, the same group in society is believed to be more successful. This situation does indeed cause certain negative effects, but in my view, they will be overshadowed by an optimistic side .
6
band
Some people think that e-books are better to be used for education in order to go paperless. Discuss its advantages and disadvantages. Give your own opinion
It is argued that some individuals favour electronic books over paper books. Although e-books benefit the environment and are easy to use; However, they sometimes have problems with longevity or the ability to possess one. This essay will discuss both views, and I will argue that both views have valid points.
5
band
Some people say that all secondary and higher secondary school students should be taught how to manage money as it is an important life skill. Do you agree or disagree with this argument?
Money management is an important life skill that needs to be assimilated at an early age and can be developed through consistent practice. However, some people present the argument that financial management should be an integral part of secondary and higher secondary pedagogy that has to be taught by teachers like any other important life skills.This essay, or the ensuing paragraphs illustrate my opinion in this regard.
6.5
band
Studies suggest that many teenagers these days prefer socialising online to meeting one another in person. Why do you think this is the case? What measures could be taken to encourage teenagers to spend more time meeting one another in person?
Based on recent studies, it is becoming increasingly common for young people who prefer online interaction to real socialisation these days. This situation happens due to the advancement in telecommunication technology. Moreover, parents can limit their screen time and add some communities among the places where youngsters live to support in-person meetings.

Large companies use sport events to promote their products. Some people think this has a negative impact on sports. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some people say that in all levels of education, from primary schools to universities, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills, Do you agree or disagree?

Young people are often influenced in their behaviours and situations by others in the same age. This is called “peer pressure”. Do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages?

Some people think that e-books are better to be used for education in order to go paperless. Discuss its advantages and disadvantages. Give your own opinion

Some people say that all secondary and higher secondary school students should be taught how to manage money as it is an important life skill. Do you agree or disagree with this argument?

Studies suggest that many teenagers these days prefer socialising online to meeting one another in person. Why do you think this is the case? What measures could be taken to encourage teenagers to spend more time meeting one another in person?