There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

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In each part of the world, music is very different and has evolved through the years. Many people ask themselves why we need it and if it is most important the traditional music from their country or the international one. I think that we need it for emotions to the same degree as unity or expression and that the traditional gives us identity and connection. I think that
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art helps us in so many different ways, when you are down or tired it can motivate you and see the future from another perspective or if you are excited for something, a good song can make you even more happy.
That is
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to say, it helps to express your emotions. Each person likes a different type of music but everybody has a song, a band or a singer that connects them to people
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as family or friends.
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, the book Unity, by Kieran Trippier, a famous psychologist, says that
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art is the only one that can make people more connected. Each country or city has a recognized artist who makes the population proud of their roots.
In addition
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, when it happens in a small country the pride is intensified when the citizens see their compatriots succeed worldwide, so it gives you an identity, pride and a special connection with your land.
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, a study by the University of Connecticut affirms that the Spanish population has been connected by Flamenco over the years and that that unity will
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much longer.
To conclude
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, melodies have been a help for humans since ever and it is an identity and something to make the population of a land proud and connected to each other.

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grammar
There are a couple of grammatical errors and awkward sentence constructions that could be refined to enhance clarity. Try to ensure subject-verb agreement and streamline sentences where possible.
development
Consider adding a few more examples or expanding on the ones you have to enrich your arguments and make your essay more persuasive.
structure
You provide a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your essay.
coherence
Your essay maintains a logical flow, especially when discussing the reasons why music is important.
content
You have effectively emphasized the role of music in fostering national pride and unity with supporting examples.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • emotional release
  • cultural significance
  • globalization
  • cultural exchange
  • technology
  • preservation
  • cultural heritage
  • social cohesion
  • expression
  • consumption
  • production
  • traditional music
  • international music
  • diversity
  • identity
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