There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?
There is an increasing number of music genres in today’s society.
This
essay will discuss why listening to them is essential for us and it will then
explain why traditional melodic creations are more important than the international ones known worldwide.
Indeed, listening to songs we like can lighten up our mood when we are feeling sad. It allows us to feel better about ourselves. Furthermore
, it can boost our self-confidence which will result in better performances, especially in sports, or in improved concentration. For example
, a study led by the TU, the Tokyo University, showed that listening to what we like could increase the number of serotonin and dopamine cells in our brains, which are neurones that contribute to our happiness, by almost 50%.
International hits are known everywhere, but because of them, the traditional type of music should not stop being listened to. The latter is essential for the country’s culture since it represents a part of its history and has been transmitted by parents to their children for hundreds of years. For instance
, the city of Avignon, in France, has implemented a very successful music class in school where kids learn about the traditional songs of their city and country. That has allowed the city to transmit a part of its culture. Moreover
, it shows that listening to traditional melodic creations is essential to transmitting French History, while
worldwide pop hits will not transmit anything.
In conclusion, listening to what we like is very important for our health and well-being, and traditional songs are essential because they represent the culture, tradition and history of a certain region, so they are more important than worldwide hits and should keep being listened to.Submitted by santos_dij on
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task achievement
Make sure to fully develop a comparison between traditional and international music, possibly discussing their respective roles and influences.
coherence cohesion
Incorporate more transitional phrases and sentences between the ideas presented to enhance flow and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a strong introduction and a clear conclusion, effectively summarizing the main points discussed.
task achievement
The response is well-structured with relevant examples, such as the Tokyo University study and the Avignon music class, which underscore the essay's points.
task achievement
The writer presents a complete response addressing both the need for music and the comparison between traditional and international music.
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