Many people spend a lot of money on clothes, haircuts, and beauty products to enhance their appearance. Some people think that it is a good way to spend money, while others think that there is a better way to spend it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #money #clothes #haircuts #beauty #products #appearance

In recent years,

people

spend their money on different aspects including clothes, haircuts and beauty products in order to improve their appearance. Undoubtedly, there is a debate among

people

regarding the aim of spending. Some

people

believe that it is an acceptable reason for expending,

however

, others claim that there is another suitable way to spend.

Firstly

, when an individual cares about her/his appearance, it reflects self-importance. Following outside of their body improvement, they start to consider enhancement for the inside of their body.

For instance

, they might take sports classes and

therefore

they try to be fit in physically. It could

also

influence their diet, which causes them to eat robust nourishments.

Besides

activities, emotional state is paid suitable attention.

For example

, avoiding anxiety situations that lead to a stressful condition becomes crucial.

Thus

people

are inclining to have healthy life more than in the past and they are going to organize various plans for their future.

On the other hand

people

should notice balance in their daily life. If they pour all of their money, they might end up without any save account that could help them in a critical time. Due to obsessive attention to themself, they might forget other aspects of living including altruism and cooperation.

As a result

, egoism would spread among nations and

therefore

humankind faces a lack of supports from their fellowman. To summarise, paying attention to looks is a pleasant thing, which should be done in a moderate way. An excessive consideration would distract

people

regarding other aspects of life including being altruistic.

Submitted by zbafshar92 on Wed Nov 03 2021

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

261 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people spend a lot of money on clothes, haircuts, and beauty products to enhance their appearance. Some people think that it is a good way to spend money, while others think that there is a better way to spend it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Your opinion

Some people believe that young people bring more profit to the company. Others says that older people actually bring more profits. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Do you agree with gun possession to protect people?

Some poeple say it is important to keep your home and your workplace tidy, with everything organised and in the correct place.

Tourism has increased so much over the last 50 years that is having a mainly negative impact on local inhabitants and the environment. However, other claim that it is good for the economy. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of tourism and give you own opinion.