Many people spend a lot of money on clothes, haircuts, and beauty products to enhance their appearance. Some people think that it is a good way to spend money, while others think that there is a better way to spend it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #money #clothes #haircuts #beauty #products #appearance

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In recent years,

people

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spend their money on different aspects including clothes, haircuts and beauty products in order to improve their appearance. Undoubtedly, there is a debate among

people

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regarding the aim of spending. Some

people

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believe that it is an acceptable reason for expending,

however

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, others claim that there is another suitable way to spend.

Firstly

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, when an individual cares about her/his appearance, it reflects self-importance. Following outside of their body improvement, they start to consider enhancement for the inside of their body.

For instance

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, they might take sports classes and

therefore

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they try to be fit in physically. It could

also

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influence their diet, which causes them to eat robust nourishments.

Besides

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activities, emotional state is paid suitable attention.

For example

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, avoiding anxiety situations that lead to a stressful condition becomes crucial.

Thus

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people

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are inclining to have healthy life more than in the past and they are going to organize various plans for their future.

On the other hand

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people

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should notice balance in their daily life. If they pour all of their money, they might end up without any save account that could help them in a critical time. Due to obsessive attention to themself, they might forget other aspects of living including altruism and cooperation.

As a result

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, egoism would spread among nations and

therefore

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humankind faces a lack of supports from their fellowman. To summarise, paying attention to looks is a pleasant thing, which should be done in a moderate way. An excessive consideration would distract

people

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regarding other aspects of life including being altruistic.

Submitted by zbafshar92 on Wed Nov 03 2021

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Your opinion

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

261 words

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Many people spend a lot of money on clothes, haircuts, and beauty products to enhance their appearance. Some people think that it is a good way to spend money, while others think that there is a better way to spend it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Your opinion

some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Buying things on the internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of this outweigh its disadvantages?

It is now possible for scientists and tourists to travel to remote natural environments, such as the South pole. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Young people who commit crimes should be treated in the same way as adults by authorities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?