IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Unemployment is one of the biggest problems of contemporary society. What do you think are the main causes of unemployment? What solutions can you suggest?

#unemployment #society
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is well known that unemployment is a situation which the majority of cities around the world are facing nowadays.
This
Linking Words
 issue affects not only the community but
also
Linking Words
 the government since the
problem
Use synonyms
 has a direct impact on the economy of the country. The biggest cause of
this
Linking Words
 issue is because the employees are, most of the time, unprepared to meet the necessity of the labour market.
Thus
Linking Words
, in order to minimize these causes some improvements must be taken,
such
Linking Words
 as education to youth and study incentives for
adults
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, one of the main reasons for the unemployment in big cities is because traditionally at schools the majority of classes are focused only on theoretical subjects rather than practices.
Consequently
Linking Words
, when the students graduate, they are not prepared to start working. Another common reason for
this
Linking Words
 issue is the level of qualification or education of workers, there are some job offers, often well paid, which the employees must have some specific qualifications. A solution to
this
Linking Words
 would be
instead
Linking Words
 of academic classes, the schools propose for those who are interested in some practical classes as when the students graduate they would have the minimum level of qualification to start working.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the government or the companies should provide financial incentives to
adults
Use synonyms
, who are struggling to find a job or are willing to change their careers. It might resolve the
problem
Use synonyms
 of specific vacancies. To sum up, from my point of view, the most effective way to solve
this
Linking Words
problem
Use synonyms
 is through the education of adolescents and
adults
Use synonyms
, to
adults
Use synonyms
 is essential to provide financial incentives and to ,adolescents it would be at schools. Government and business must work together on
this
Linking Words
 matter as
this
Linking Words
problem
Use synonyms
 affects both.
Submitted by raquel.santosprudente on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: