More and more people are suffering from health problems caused by a modern life style which cannot be treated with modern medicines. Some people think that a return to traditional medicines should be encouraged. To what extent do you agree?

The advent of modern technology has made many

people

dependent on it for survival,which has caused several negative impacts on their health. Lifestyle changes have greatly increased the risks of infections and

diseases

.Some

people

believe that home remedies should be promoted as it has more benefits than modern medicines.I completely disagree with

this

statement.

Further

details will be discussed in

forthcoming

Correct article usage

the forthcoming

show examples

paragraphs. On the one hand,some individuals opine that traditional ways of curing

diseases

are far better than new inventions.

Firstly

,traditional

medicine

is widely available.Even in remote areas where some of the modern medicines are unavailable,it generally accessible to most

people

Secondly

,herbal

medicine

is affordable and

people

,who cannot afford advanced treatments,can lead a healthy life by finding an alternative way to cure their

diseases

Finally

,it

activate

Change the verb form

activates

show examples

the body's immune system.So,

people

are less prone to catch any type of

infections

Fix the agreement mistake

infection

show examples

after using conventional methods.

On the other hand

,modern

medicine

considered

Add a missing verb

is considered

show examples

to be more effective since it follows a system that treats each disease separately.

Therefore

,any particular disease is taken up and treated according to the symptoms.

aMoreover

Correct your spelling

moreover

,modern

medicine

is the only stream in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

medical science,which has mastered the art of organ replacement.

Furthermore

,in emergency conditions,advanced

medicine

is truly a blessing because there are quick treatments,and drugs could be easily found for any

diseases

Fix the agreement mistake

disease

show examples

. In conclusion,

Although

traditional remedies have shown a lot of improvements in treating some of the

diseases

,I strongly belong to the school of thought that recommends using modern medicines to treat all the illnesses.

Instead

of returning to traditional potions to treat the infections,

people

should be encouraged to live a balanced life which would reduce the occurrence of

diseases

Submitted by welcomeblissfullife on Thu Nov 04 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

263 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

lifestyle diseases
sedentary habits
stress-related disorders
holistic practices
comprehensive approach
preventive measures
traditional dietary practices
evidence-based practice
integration
efficacy
natural herbs
wellness
affordable alternative
public education
stress management techniques

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More and more people are suffering from health problems caused by a modern life style which cannot be treated with modern medicines. Some people think that a return to traditional medicines should be encouraged. To what extent do you agree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some countries allow old people to work to any stage that they want. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In some countries, governments are encouraging businesses and industries to move to regional areas outside big cities. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building the live in. What are the reason for this? How can people research this?

Some people believe the purpose of education is to prepare individuals to be beneficial to society. Others say the purpose of education is to achieve personal ambitions. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.