IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

It’s time to ban social media. It has been shown that it has made life worse for people all over the world, from politics, to self-image, to the spread of disinformation. It is a social experiment that has not worked and it is time to say goodbye.To what extent do you agree with the above statement?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
These days, social networking sites have gained in popularity as a substitute
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 face-to-face communication. In my opinion, despite some undeniable benefits, the growing prevalence of online
media
Use synonyms
 brings about more drawbacks. On the one hand, perhaps the most noticeable advantage of online platforms is that
people
Use synonyms
 can keep in touch with their beloved ones, regardless of
geography
Replace the word
geographical
show examples
 locations.
For example
Linking Words
, members of families who are apart because of working or studying can easily use virtual conversational exchanges
such
Linking Words
 as video calls or texts to keep their families updated with the latest news in their lives.
Second
Linking Words
, social networks connect
people
Use synonyms
 sharing the same interests no matter where they are.
For example
Linking Words
, Facebook offers its 2.4 billion users the freedom to join a myriad of groups and events which match their interests.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the setbacks of social
media
Use synonyms
 are more concerning.
First
Linking Words
, powerful social technologies downplay the importance of direct contact. Many
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to interact online on their electronic devices rather than physical interaction, preventing them from engaging in real-life relationships. In
this
Linking Words
 sense, social
media
Use synonyms
 will impede real-life communication skills
such
Linking Words
 as body language or eye contact which are actually of great significance in their lives.
Second
Linking Words
, the excessive reliance on social
media
Use synonyms
 to exchange socially
also
Linking Words
 adversely affects the way users communicate. They get into the habit of using abbreviations, slang, and emotion icons to express their thoughts and feelings, widening the gap between them and
people
Use synonyms
 of other generations, even creating some sorts of misunderstanding and discomfort informal situations. In conclusion, for the aforementioned reasons, in spite of
unprecedented
Correct article usage
the unprecedented
show examples
 conveniences and
comfort
Correct article usage
the comfort
show examples
 of online communication, I am of the opinion that the disadvantages that they have brought to our lives are more significant.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: