In some cilture, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

#cilture #children #message

In certain nations of the world it's common to tell

young

Correct article usage

the young

show examples

generation that if they work hard and put all their efforts

Change preposition

into

show examples

their goals, they will achieve anything.There are several benefits and drawbacks of

this

message

sent to young kids.On the one side,

this

message

can empower

children

to work hard for their dreams,

however

,it can be the reason for many mental and physical disasters.

To begin

with, telling young races that if they are brave enough to chase their dreams and success in anything they want,it is kind of obvious that

this

message

make

Change the verb form

makes

show examples

them more confident and focused person in their adult lives.To cue evidence,when parents promise their

children

if they get excellent score in their exam,they will buy them their favourite toy, they

are literally study

Change the verb form

are literally studying

show examples

hard to get that and in my

view

Add a comma

,view

show examples

this

makes them

focuse

Correct your spelling

focus

focused

on their tasks and

also

responsible for their future.So encouraging

children

make them feel they can be able to gain their goals

as a result

of their endeavour.

On the other hand

,sending

this

message

for

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show examples

children

might bring up opposite

effect

Fix the agreement mistake

effects

show examples

such

as mental health problems.

For instance

,each person has

it's

Correct your spelling

its

show examples

own way to be successful and

this

opinion will put too much pressure on them and if they do not succeed,they will think they are useless,not talented, stupid and so on.

Thus

this

is literally harmful

for

Change the preposition

show examples

their bodies and make them anxious and frustrated even in their future lives. In conclusion, every individual has to find the right balance, working hard is not always the answer,and if you do not

careful

Replace the word

care

show examples

about it,you will

suffering

Wrong verb form

suffer

show examples

in the near future.

Submitted by ghafooriarya on Tue Nov 09 2021

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

268 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In some cilture, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Fully explain your ideas

Many people find it hard to balance their work with other parts of their lives. What problems does this cause? How can this problem be overcome?

Some people think that newspapers are the best media to learn and get information from, while others believe that the Internet is a better source. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

nowdays, many people choose to be self- employes, rather than to work for a company or organaisation. why might this be the case? what could be the disadvantages of being self employed?

Information technology enables many people to do their work outside their workplace (e.g. at home, when travelling, etc.). Do the benefits of this mobility outweigh the disadvantages?

You have recently moved to a new neighborhood. Write a letter to a friend about your new neighborhood. In your letter: Describe the new neighborhood Explain why you moved there Talk about your neighbors Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: