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Writing Samples
Band 6

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?

It is undeniable that goodness and badness is a part of life whether young people and adults and these affect their livelihood. So, pupils should be taught the distinction between correct and wrong
that is
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 vital in growing up to adults.
Moreover
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, a discipline when children make a mistake or
doing
Wrong verb form
do
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 morality is essential to aid them in learning
this
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 difference. In my view, I completely agree with
this
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 statement, will give a main reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 learning and
also
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 the method of punishment that should
teach
Wrong verb form
taught
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 in youngsters.
To begin
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 with, rightness and inaccuracy aid children to become
an
Correct article usage
apply
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efficient
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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 in society and another factor is a significant role in encouragement. Nowadays, there have been numerous pupils which select incorrect ways in their livelihood and mostly without
correction
Replace the word
correcting
show examples
 them.
For example
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, poor children who do not have a sufficient opportunity in studying or do have
parents
Use synonyms
 to teach them are the highest rates of crime in Thailand.
Therefore
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, these differences should be instructed in favour of
model
Add an article
a model
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 in living.
Additionally
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, discipline is
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
crucial for pupils in behaviour comprehension when they thieve
Correct article usage
the goods
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goods
Fix the agreement mistake
good
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 of others. So, they will be punished by
police
Add an article
the police
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.
Furthermore
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,
parents
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 and teachers must have an appropriate discipline in favour of
management
Replace the word
managing
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 their youngsters. There are many methods in correction in present and the potential way
in
Change preposition
to
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 control them is reasonable.
In other words
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, adolescents hit on
head
Correct article usage
the head
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 their friend because
comrade
Correct pronoun usage
their comrade
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mimic
Change the verb form
mimics
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 their
parents
Use synonyms
.
Thus
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, teachers must explain
that is
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 inaccuracy and reproduce situations
as
Replace the word
like
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 a real occasion. To summarize,
in contrast
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 between correct and incorrect are the standard which should
learn
Wrong verb form
learned
show examples
 since baby. Meanwhile, punishment is
role
Correct article usage
a role
show examples
 model to instruct. Indeed, the
parents
Use synonyms
 must be more concerned regarding
pupil’s
Fix the agreement mistake
pupils’
show examples
 behaviours.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • punishment
  • positive reinforcement
  • consequences
  • time-outs
  • removal of privileges
  • open communication
  • clear expectations
  • consistency
  • fairness
  • disciplinary action
  • proportionate
  • moral values
  • internalization
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