IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good memebers of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion.

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The bar graph illustrates, the different age groups of
british
Change the capitalization
British

It appears that the word british may be a proper noun in this context. Consider capitalizing the word.

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 individuals, who are donating the amount
for
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 various trusts or orphanages in 1990 and 2010. Units of measurements are
precentages
Correct your spelling
percentages

The word precentages is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

. Overall, the greater percentage of
british
Change the capitalization
British

It appears that the word british may be a proper noun in this context. Consider capitalizing the word.

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 donated in1990 than in 2010 except
the
Change preposition
for the

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 who are above 50 years old. It is
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.
noticeble
Correct your spelling
noticeable

The word noticeble is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

that elder
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 are donated more for the trusts in 2010. In 1990, Approximately 42% of
britishers
Change the capitalization
Britishers

It appears that the word britishers may be a proper noun in this context. Consider capitalizing the word.

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 are contributed to charities, and it is highest in the whole chart.
In contrast
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, only around 17% of youngsters are donated. In 2010 these percentages are significantly dropped to 24% and 7% respectively.
People
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 who are aged from 51-65 their donations are rose in 2010 with 39% and which is 4% greater than in 1990 . The
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

people
Correct quantifier usage
number of people

It seems that quantifier use may be incorrect here.

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ablve
Correct your spelling
above

The word ablve is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

65s was lower than
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, at 35% but it was still a little higher than the 1990's figure of 32%.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Societal norms
  • Role models
  • Foundation
  • Family values
  • Ethics
  • Habits
  • Responsibilities
  • Structured environment
  • Diversity
  • Cooperation
  • Respect
  • Civic education
  • Social skills
  • Integration
  • Guidance
  • Harmonious cooperation
  • Optimizes
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