IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that to reduce industrial pollution, a tax should be imposed on companies, while others believe that different measures should be taken to solve the problem. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #pollution #tax #companies #measures
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With the exponential progress of industrialisation, the environment has faced particular threats from industrial
waste
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. A sizable number of people argue that the government should impose taxes on
companies
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 in order to minimise
pollution
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,
while
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 others oppose
this
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 idea and call for alternatives to be taken.
This
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 essay will discuss the two sides and explain why I agree more with the latter view. On the one hand, environmental taxes work effectively as a measure to trace down corporations’
actions
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. It is understandable why folks demand heavy taxation on
companies
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 since
this
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 will restrain
factory’s
Change noun form
factory
show examples
 activities and incentivize
companies
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 to adopt new ways to handle excess
waste
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.
However
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,
companies
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 may face financial hardship if the policy is implemented.
For instance
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, a company must pay for hired labour, facilities, and ingredients;
therefore
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, they could face bankruptcy for unintended
waste
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.
Additionally
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, corporations can manipulate their
waste
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 levels to just below the threshold to avoid paying taxes without taking actual
actions
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.
Therefore
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, taxation may be more appropriate as a punitive measure, not to reduce
pollution
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.
On the other hand
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, others believe that different measures should be considered to solve
this
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 urgent issue. To make sure corporations are taking practical
actions
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, the government can implement regular inspections and data collection.
This
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 would encourage
companies
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 to adhere to regulations, take responsibility and stay disciplined as they are aware of being monitored. Another solution
highlights
Correct pronoun usage
that highlights
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 the effort to protect the environment is enforcing factories to spare an amount of profits on habitat conservation.
This
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 is exemplified by the UK's requirement for industries to allocate 10% of their profits towards biodiversity conservation, which directly contributes to reducing
pollution
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as well as
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 ensuring a functioning economy with corporations as the backbone. In the denouement,
while
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 the importance of taxation is undeniable, it is better for punishments to be tailored based on one’s financial situation and
also
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 environmental implications. To achieve a balance between economic stability and
pollution
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 reduction, I believe that governments should explore alternative solutions
such
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 as inspection and expenses on habitat conservation to encourage
companies
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 to be accountable for their
actions
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 and adopt sustainable practices.
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task achievement
The essay provides a balanced discussion of both views on the topic. However, it would benefit from further elaboration on how alternative measures can specifically lead to pollution reduction. Including more concrete examples and evidence could strengthen the argument.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is clear, but the relationship between ideas could be made more explicit. Transitional phrases and linking words could be better used to connect ideas and paragraphs more fluidly.
coherence and cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion and summarizing the main points.
task achievement
Main points are supported with relevant arguments, showing a clear understanding of the topic and the ability to analyze different perspectives.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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