Some people think that governments in developing countries should introduce new technologies to people in order to improve the quality of life, while others believe that in order to achieve that governments should offer free education for all. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
With
this
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letter, I am going to express my strong motivation to pursue the
Health
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Informatics master on-campus
program
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at Victoria University in the fall of 2022. I graduated with a bachelor of medicine specializing in oral
health
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and worked as a community
health
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program
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manager at a district medical centre in
Vietnam
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for more than 3 years. In 2018, I was honoured to receive the Danish Government scholarship that covered my entire tuition fee and monthly stipends for my master
program
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in public
health
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at the University of Southern Denmark. The reasons that encourage me to apply to
this
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program
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stem from my strong interest in pursuing a career in the digital
health
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area that has been fostered throughout my academic and working
experience
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. Working as a public
health
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doctor in
Vietnam
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for three years enables me to gain an in-depth understanding of the operation process as well as shortcomings in the management of our medical
system
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. The traditional paper-based
system
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still plays a major role in most public medical facilities which potentially lead to time-consuming processes and intricacy to patient’s data exchange among hospitals.
Additionally
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, according to W.H.O,
Vietnam
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is one of the countries with the fastest ageing pace and the level of elderly above 60 is projected to account for 61% of the population in 2050. Correspondingly,
this
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may lead to a rapid increase in demand for geriatric
care
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services and facilities.
As a result
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, it has been foreseen that the application of digital
health
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innovations will be a potential solution to amend communication among GPs and the quality of geriatric and chronic
care
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. During my education, I was active to learn new experiences in the digital
health
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area through volunteer works and school projects. I was admitted to a talent
program
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and joined a science project called Aging in Smart city to identify how technology can assist elderlies in Denmark during the Covid-19 lockdown. In the project, we interviewed ten elderly participants and listened to their amazing experiences of how technological devices can help them cope with loneliness during the pandemic. I was intrigued by how technological advancements could bring enormous benefits that ameliorate the life of participants. After graduation, I applied to work in a healthcare firm that aims to develop a chest wearable device to assist patients with chronic pulmonary diseases. As a medical advisor, I worked in a cross-functional team with members from different backgrounds and participate in developmental phases. Through
this
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, I have learned hands-on work
experience
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and feel inspired to follow a meaningful career that delivers innovative healthcare solutions that can amend the lives of millions. At the same time, I have
also
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acknowledged the prominence of technical knowledge and advanced programming skills in
this
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area which I find it missing from my academic background.
As a result
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, attending a professional academic
program
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that specialized in eHealth with opportunities for practical internships will be an optimal choice that helps me progress in the field. I choose to
further
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my education at Victoria University not only for the globally recognized academic standard but
also
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for the innovative teaching style. The
Health
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Informatics on-campus
program
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will be an excellent course that delivers practical knowledge and
experience
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within
health
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technology which is missing in my previous academic
experience
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.
Moreover
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,
this
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is
also
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a distinguished
program
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that offers flexible elective courses in various subjects
such
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as business, computer science and biomedical engineering. The most impressive point about
this
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program
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is the unique 8-month internship which will be a golden opportunity for students to interact early with the industry, gain in-depth work
experience
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, make meaningful contributions to the firm as well as form strong rapports with other professionals.
As a result
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, graduates will not be confused but be fully prepared to join the competitive market after graduation. My goal after graduation is to start my own company with like-minded professionals that develop and implement digital
health
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solutions that can invigorate the quality of medical services and mitigate medical out-of-pocket expenses of patients. It could be an application, software or a medical device that provides innovative models of
care
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that enhances patient-doctor connectivity and allow physicians to keep track of patients’ history, records, prescriptions and lab reports at an affordable cost for low- and middle-income households. I am
also
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passionate about pursuing a career in medical institutions or Universities to conduct digital
health
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projects in
Vietnam
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. To enhance digital
health
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adoption, it is
also
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critical to provide crucial education and training to medical students and young professionals to enhance their awareness and capability of using innovative
health
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technology in daily diagnosis and treatment activities.
Additionally
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, ameliorating our traditional paper-based
health
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care
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system
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to a computerized, universal and comprehensive
health
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management information
system
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at all levels for the better administration of patient records is
also
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one of my concerns. Courses in project management, electronic records and patient safety & quality in Heath informatics and etc. will equip vital knowledge to help me fulfil my goal. With my intense passion, persistence and remarkable
experience
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in
Vietnam
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public
health
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sector, I confidently believe I will create positive improvements in my hometown.
Submitted by npanhtuan09 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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