IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that the teenagers should concentrate on all subjects at school. Others believe that teenagers should focus on subject they are best at or they are most interested in. To what extent do you agree?

#people #teenagers #subjects #school #focus
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It has been debated whether the schoolers should focus solely on their interest or pay attention
on
Change the preposition
to
show examples
 all classes. Personally, I believe after having the foundation knowledge, at a certain age they should be allowed to choose what is relevant to themselves. It is undeniable that the basic
subjects
Use synonyms
 namely geographic, math, literature and physics help learners to build generalisation which is essential on a daily basis. Taking math as an example,
this
Linking Words
 subject is so useful to calculate household spending, go shopping and
also
Linking Words
 develop a logical train of thinks. Another benefit of foundation academy is that not every student know their desire and having exposure to as many different fields as possible could probably collaborate them to find one. Different kinds of mankind experiences are tailored carefully to put into curriculum, so these
subjects
Use synonyms
 are probably of paramount importance for any individual.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, from 16 years old, most students perhaps know their strengths and weaknesses so many decided to pursue their interest, owing to the fact that the three high school years in many countries are focusing hard on the preparation for the university exam. Many singers and actors or sports players,
for instance
Linking Words
, drop out of institutions to work on their careers since teenagers and have renowned careers later. Let the youths draft their own study schedule could
also
Linking Words
 be more effective and saving because the government do not have to spend money on various
subjects
Use synonyms
 and learning that might not be used in the future. By
this
Linking Words
, they could allocate the fund to certain sectors that could benefit the whole economy and society especially the medical or environmental field. In sum, both approaches have their pros and cons, while many institutes may benefit from a wide range of
subjects
Use synonyms
, others would find it stressful.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I am inclined to believe that after having a universal basic understanding, from 16 years old many know their true callings and they could register lessons based on their interest.
Submitted by tanguyenhuongtra on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • well-rounded education
  • versatile skill set
  • personal development
  • future career opportunities
  • identify strengths
  • satisfying career
  • successful career
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving skills
  • academic burnout
  • diverse curriculum
  • learning experience
  • engaging and stimulating
  • solid grounding
  • well-rounded individuals
  • diverse conversations
  • different perspectives
What to do next:
Look at other essays: