IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people choose to work or live abroad because of the higher standards of living they can find outside their home country. Outweigh.

It is true that high living standards in foreign
countries
Use synonyms
 lure many
people
Use synonyms
, and they move there in search of a better quality of
life
Use synonyms
 and employment prospects. While
this
Linking Words
 trend can bring about some positives, I am of the view that they are far outweighed by the drawbacks of immigration.
Life
Use synonyms
 in foreign
countries
Use synonyms
 does present
people
Use synonyms
 with some benefits that their home country lacks.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it becomes a lot easier for individuals to meet their materialistic needs,
such
Linking Words
 as driving a luxurious car or dwelling in a beautiful house with all needed amenities, if they emigrate to foreign
countries
Use synonyms
 since they can earn and afford more than they used to.
This
Linking Words
 is attributed to higher average wages in overseas, usually developed,
countries
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, individuals want to move to foreign
countries
Use synonyms
 because of far more advanced educational systems. For either
immigrants
Change to a singular noun
immigrant
show examples
 themselves or their
children
Add a comma
,children
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 it is a valuable opportunity to acquire knowledge in reputable universities and colleges, gain qualifications, take their dream job and move up the career ladder, in the long run.
However
Linking Words
, I believe that the drawbacks of immigration are more significant than the advantages discussed. One of the common issues that immigrants tend to face in their destination
countries
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 is culture shock, which is brought about by differences in climate, lifestyles and other differences alike. While the side effects of culture fade away after a while for some
people
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, it takes years for others
negatively
Change preposition
to negatively
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influencing
Wrong verb form
influence
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 their lives.
In addition
Linking Words
, there are things in
life
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 that money and high living standards cannot buy, two of which are family and a sense of belonging. It seems impossible for one to immigrate with their extended family, including parents, grandparents and relatives. From my personal experience, I realized
this
Linking Words
 feeling of connectedness to my own
people
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, country and culture having spent 4 months in the US, and decided to spend
life
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 in the surroundings of my close
people
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 and homeland. In fact, most immigrants are likely to approve of
this
Linking Words
 argument when asked. While the advantages of earning more money and high quality of education attract most
people
Use synonyms
 to emigrate, I think that the disadvantages of immigration much outweigh them.
This
Linking Words
 is because
life
Use synonyms
 in foreign
countries
Use synonyms
 might not be as easy as it seems
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and that certain feelings and values cannot be replaced by anything, from my perspective.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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