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Band 7

the number of overweight people are dramatically increasing and it cause many physical body problem.

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Nowadays, the number of overweight
people
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 is dramatically increasing and it causes many physical human
body
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 problems. In
this
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 paragraph, the cause and the effect of
this
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problem
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 will be presented.
Although
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 healthy
body
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 and food are a very popular trend now, the number of overweight
people
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 still highly. The two main reasons for
this
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problem
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 are inactive lifestyles and unhealthy eating inhabits of
people
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.
First
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, most
people
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 rely on cars of
instead
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 walking, have less physical demand at work and prefer inactivity leisure.
Moreover
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, the
problem
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 is the increasing number of
people
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 whom irregular eat and consume large portions of high-calorie food.
For instance
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, about 50% of the adult population in Europe with so-called disorders eating suffer from obesity. The possible effect of
this
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problem
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 includes physical health problems and loss of productivity.
First
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 of all, obesity results in incorrect functioning of the human
body
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 and contributes to the risk of developing a chronic illness.
For example
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, a
body
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 fat percentage increases, the person’s metabolism worsens, which turn in may result in diabetes and heart disease.
Secondly
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,overweight
people
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 are very unhealthy and often suffer from stress and tiredness.
This
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 lessens their work capacity and results in low productivity.
For example
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, it has been proven that obese
people
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 need to put their effort to complete the task than normal
people
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. In conclusion, obesity is a big
problem
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 for a lot of
people
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 nowadays. Its two main causes are inactive lifestyles and eating disorders and result in several problems and low productivity.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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