IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

some people get into debt by buying things they do not need and can not afford. What are the reasons for this behaviour? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?

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Purchasing items which are not suitable for peoples' budgets and unuseful
things
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 may lead to suffering with loans.In
this
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 essay, I will write the key ways to solve
this
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 problem before going to buy something and paying extra debt. There are many reasons for buying
things
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 without willingness.
Firstly
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,
people
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 will be manipulated by the variety of advertisements which are noticeable everywhere namely,on social media,on TV and mostly on posters.As we use them on a daily basis it is not possible to avoid them.
Secondly
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,they will see the red sign namely ,sale without not looking at their accurate date and the amount of discount ,they will hurry to get these stuffs with reduced money.
Although
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,
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apply
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the
item
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 will not be essential at all ,fake information about the
item
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 encourages to get it during a short period.If
this
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item
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's advertisement is done by well-known
people
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 it would be the third reason for obtaining quickly.
People
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 highly believe in the usefulness of
things
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 especially when some of the popular humans play a main role in it. Because of these reasons unnecessary stuff will be bought by
people
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.
However
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, there are some tips which will help us prior to going into debt.
For example
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,it is necessary to make a plan or a list of
things
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 we have to buy and affordable,before deciding to purchase
things
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.
Then
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 do some research about the facilities of the
item
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 and when it will be helpful.At the same time, we have to read the consumers' feedback on social media as a purchaser they will give advice before making a decision to buy stuff. In conclusion, I firmly believe that making a list of necessary stuff before going to the market and not trusting all of the information about products helps us to direct our budget accurately without going into debt.

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task achievement
Ensure that each main point is thoroughly supported with specific and relevant examples to enhance clarity and depth.
coherence and cohesion
Consider using linking words and phrases to improve overall fluency and coherence of the essay.
language accuracy
Double-check for minor grammatical errors, and aim for more varied sentence structures for better readability.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both clearly present, providing a good framework for the essay.
task achievement
The essay responds directly to the prompts and addresses both reasons and solutions effectively.
coherence and cohesion
The logical flow between the points and paragraphs is maintained well, making it easy to follow the essay's arguments.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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