IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that it's a good idea to socialise with work colleagues during evenings and weekends. Other people think it's important to keep working life completely separate from social life.

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There are several individuals who believe that spending
time
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 with your
co-workers
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 outside the
work
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 environment serves
one
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 good.
However
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, other groups of people are much more inclined to keep both lives separate.
This
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 essay will discuss the viewpoints of both sides and the details of why I believe the former
one
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. The benefits which derive from socializing have a great impact on
one
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life
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. The usual day spent by an individual has two aspects,
one
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 is working
life
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 and the other is personal
life
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. As half of our
time
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 is spent with our college, some feel it's necessary to get to know them well. Owing to several types of weekend activities,
one
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 can break the ice barrier between
co-workers
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. Even though there are levels of seniority at the workplace, outside they can be friendly and get to know the real person.
On the contrary
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, the group who has the belief that separation is important
,
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apply
show examples
 has their own reasons.
Firstly
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, they like to see or spend
time
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 with someone who does not
work
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 with them.
Additionally
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,
one
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 feels frustrated and uneasy because they assume they are still at the
work
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 office
while
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 spending
time
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 with their
co-workers
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.
Moreover
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, some people are very content when they are alone or with the family.
For example
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, in the web series ‘Severance’, the main character has been through an operation and installed a chip in his head. The chip keeps his
work
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 and personal
life
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 divided into two parts. So he does not lack and memorize from
work
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 and
be
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 happy with the family.
To conclude
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, I strongly believe that
time
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 spent with your
co-workers
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 outside the office is worth the
time
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 as it creates stronger bonds between people.

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task achievement
Expand on your ideas with more detail and examples, especially for the arguments on both opinions. Providing more nuanced arguments can enrich the essay significantly.
coherence
Ensure a clearer distinction between your main points in the body paragraphs. This can enhance the logical progression of your arguments.
coherence
Consider rephrasing your introduction and conclusion for clarity and stronger impact. A more engaging introduction and a summarizing conclusion can help frame your arguments better.
task achievement
You have clearly outlined both perspectives on the topic, which helps set the stage for your argument.
task achievement
Your use of examples, like the reference to 'Severance,' demonstrates creativity and shows your ability to relate themes to culture.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • colleagues
  • socialising
  • work relationships
  • teamwork
  • positive
  • supportive
  • work environment
  • personal relationships
  • collaboration
  • communication
  • stress
  • well-being
  • work-life balance
  • personal time
  • boundaries
  • conflicts
  • burnout
  • professional
  • personal identities
What to do next:
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