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Writing Samples
Band 7

•Illiteracy continues to be a concern for many countries in the world today. What are the causes of illiteracy in the modern world, and what effects does it have on the people concerned and on society as a whole?

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So vital is the literacy
that is
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 said to play a significant role in various aspects of life.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in the contemporary world, illiteracy is becoming a controversial issue. There seem to be two leading causes and several effects on both individuals and the community. Probably the main origin is the overwhelming costs of education that people on low-income could not afford. They prefer to train their children in a practical way in which they have an opportunity to become blue-collar.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, numerous families just make ends meet in less-affluent and developing countries due to ailing economies and inflation.
That is
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 why educational abandonment is considerably witnessed. A
second
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 well-known stem is the lack of family supervision that makes youngsters play truancy or do poorly at school.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 means that having various facilities and the internet makes students distracted from their studies, and not being monitored by their parents exacerbates the situation.
Consequently
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, pupils lacking family attention might prefer to play video games or use applications to do their homework, which are common in the modern world.
As a result
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they might fall behind with their studies and give up on exams. Turning to possible effects, an obvious result would be having low-paying and dead-end jobs for individuals.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 means that being recruited in a company and having a decent job requires at least a bachelor’s degree. So, not having one puts illiterate citizens in difficulties and trouble.
In addition
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, as the illiterate population increase, the competent workforce will
be dwindled
Change to the active voice
dwindle
have dwindled

It appears you have attempted to use the intransitive verb dwindled in a passive voice construction. Consider writing the sentence in the active voice.

show examples
 gradually.
Finally
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, providing uncultured people were layoff and made bare minimum, they would end up burgling, mugging, or robbing, which put the community’s security at risk. To conclude, being underprivileged and inadequate monitoring are the causes, and they affect both individuals and nations by decreasing the number of skilled employees and citizens' safety.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Literacy
  • Illiteracy
  • Poverty
  • Access
  • Educational resources
  • Social inequality
  • Discrimination
  • Gender disparity
  • Racial bias
  • Cultural norms
  • Technological advances
  • Political instability
  • Disruption
  • Education systems
  • Socioeconomic status
  • Job prospects
  • Health implications
  • Self-esteem
  • Empowerment
  • Economic growth
  • Social cohesion
  • Civic participation
  • Democratic processes
  • Exclusion
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