It is more important to spend public money on promoting a healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illness than to spend it on the treatment of people who are already ill. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In
this
day and age, h
ealth-care
Correct your spelling
health care
show examples
is getting more interest due to the fact that
people
nowadays have to be exposed to numerous bacterias and diseases. To help the citizens, some say the government expense should be used to consolidate a healthy
lifestyle
rather than invest it in developing medicine for
people
's ailments. In my opinion, I partly agree with
this
statement and several rationales will be discussed in
this
essay. On the one hand, a healthy
lifestyle
is not only improving our immune system but
also
establishes productivity among
people
. Living in moderation helps to regulate our body and provide energy which enables humans to carry on many tasks.
For example
, employees who maintain a positive work-life balance have a tendency to avoid illness and usually perform better than their peers. As an outcome, a healthy
lifestyle
leads to higher success and contributes to the development of
people
's prosperity.
On the other hand
, it is vital to invest in curing illness. Humans are susceptible to diseases and many of them, which are highly pervasive and lethal
which,
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can pose a threat to healthcare crisis and mortality catastrophe. The covid-19 pandemic is a prime example of
this
. Up to now, millions of lives have d
Correct your spelling
decreased
show examples
eceased
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decreased
show examples
and there are more to come if governments do not invest in finding the vaccine to put a stop to
this
highly infected disease. In all, the dangerousness of illness necessitates the development of medical advancement in order to sustain good health. To conclude, investment to attain a healthy
lifestyle
which is tempting due to its productivity boost is necessary but finding more c
ure
Fix the agreement mistake
cures
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and panacea is
also
crucial because of the concern about the extremities that diseases can cause. In my opinion, the government should do both in order to achieve a healthy community.
Submitted by Andy on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

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To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • preventive measures
  • chronic diseases
  • healthcare costs
  • public health campaigns
  • lifestyle-related illnesses
  • quality of life
  • health-conscious society
  • allocate funds
  • balanced healthcare system
  • comprehensive healthcare strategy
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