Many people think that every individual is responsible for their happiness, but some people believe there are other external factors that influence us. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Some

people

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argue that

people

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happiness

Use synonyms

is affected by some

factors

Use synonyms

that they cannot control, while others say that whether

people

Use synonyms

will become happy or not depends on themselves. In my opinion, I support the latter opinion because thinking about things positively toward the

future

Use synonyms

leads to

happiness

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regardless of their richness.

First

Linking Words

, it is often said that an individual's

happiness

Use synonyms

is not caused by their own effort since there are some

factors

Use synonyms

that

people

Use synonyms

can not control. One of the most notable

factors

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is a great disaster

such

Linking Words

as an earthquake or an act of terrorism.

For example

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, the Great East Japan Earthquake occurred in the eastern part of Japan and the World Trade Center attack happened in New York. These terrible events were unpredictable respectively but dramatically changed the lives of those who had lived happily in the region until

then

Linking Words

However

Linking Words

, I believe that an individual's

happiness

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depends on their own

endeavor

Change the spelling

endeavour

show examples

because positive thinking about the

future

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produce

Change the verb form

produces

show examples

happiness

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regardless of their richness. Actually, some

people

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are not happy even in developed countries,

On the other hand

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, there are

people

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who live happily even in developing countries. According to the World

Happiness

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Ranking 2020 which was announced by United Nations, Vietnam ranked in the top 10th, while Japan is around 30th,

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that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

is much lower than Vietnam.

In addition

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, one of the

factors

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that determine the ranking is whether

people

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have expectations for the

future

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Therefore

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, in order to live a happy life, it is important for them to think positively about the

future

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. In conclusion,

Although

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it is true that the pursuit of

happiness

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can be disturbed by uncontrollable incidents, I argue that

happiness

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can be brought about by each individual's mindset.

k.taka.m.po.uSun Nov 14 2021

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

287 words

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Many people think that every individual is responsible for their happiness, but some people believe there are other external factors that influence us. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

With the recent improvement to the internet, people can leave views or opinions on certain goods or services that they have purchased. Is it a good or bad thing. Discuss both views.

Many people beleive that high sugar levels cause more health problems. make it more expensive to reduce the health issues. do you agree or disagree ?

Some people think products should be made to last as long as possible, while others think making products cheap is more important. Discuss both views and express your own opinion

Every year several languages die out. Some people think that this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree with?