Many people think that every individual is responsible for their happiness, but some people believe there are other external factors that influence us. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #happiness #factors #influence

Some

people

argue that

people

happiness

is affected by some

factors

that they cannot control, while others say that whether

people

will become happy or not depends on themselves. In my opinion, I support the latter opinion because thinking about things positively toward the

future

leads to

happiness

regardless of their richness.

First

, it is often said that an individual's

happiness

is not caused by their own effort since there are some

factors

that

people

can not control. One of the most notable

factors

is a great disaster

such

as an earthquake or an act of terrorism.

For example

, the Great East Japan Earthquake occurred in the eastern part of Japan and the World Trade Center attack happened in New York. These terrible events were unpredictable respectively but dramatically changed the lives of those who had lived happily in the region until

then

However

, I believe that an individual's

happiness

depends on their own

endeavor

Change the spelling

endeavour

show examples

because positive thinking about the

future

produce

Change the verb form

produces

show examples

happiness

regardless of their richness. Actually, some

people

are not happy even in developed countries,

On the other hand

, there are

people

who live happily even in developing countries. According to the World

Happiness

Ranking 2020 which was announced by United Nations, Vietnam ranked in the top 10th, while Japan is around 30th,

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

is much lower than Vietnam.

In addition

, one of the

factors

that determine the ranking is whether

people

have expectations for the

future

Therefore

, in order to live a happy life, it is important for them to think positively about the

future

. In conclusion,

Although

it is true that the pursuit of

happiness

can be disturbed by uncontrollable incidents, I argue that

happiness

can be brought about by each individual's mindset.

Submitted by k.taka.m.po.u on Sun Nov 14 2021

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

287 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people think that every individual is responsible for their happiness, but some people believe there are other external factors that influence us. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Every year large number of people migrate from one country to another for different reasons. There are many advantages and /or disadvantages of migration for the individual and/or for society.What is your opinion?

You would like to join the local orchestra Write a letter of application to the orchestra. In the letter: - Introduce yourself and your instrument of choice - Explain how your credentials make you a good candidate - Express your enthusiasm for music Write 150 words .

Many people in the music business feel that illegal music sites on the internet are a serious threat to the industry and more should be done to prevent them from operating. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?