WRITING TASK 2 You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Some people say that there is too much harmful content on the internet. They say the only way to make the internet safe is for the government to censor the content of websites. To what extent do you think the government should control what information is available on the internet? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
While
some people believe that there is significant harmful content on the internet and the only way that can be safe is if the government
censor the content of websites, I strongly believe that the government
should control only the information that is
harmful to individuals or can commit a crime through regulations.
Some countries have censored information from around the world, which cannot help them to open their minds and have more independent intellectual thinking. China is an example of this
censorship
, they cannot access American content because the government
believe can be harmful to their dictatorship and the belief system of the nation. Iran indeed is another country that has strong censorship
. Another example of the fact that I aforementioned before is that one girl was imprisoned because she shared a TikTok video dancing. Furthermore
, the video was censored because was considered offensive from the government
's perspective.
On the contrary
, other countries have less strong censorship
that can lead to committing crimes through the internet. For instance
, in Spain is well-known that different pedophiles
with Artificial Intelligence make video calls with a child's face so they have access to another child. Different Change the spelling
paedophiles
pedophiles
were caught that could have an in-person meeting to commit the crime. These facts describe the necessity of having regulations and laws that can fight cybercrime.
Change the spelling
paedophiles
To conclude
, it is important to note that a
strong internet Remove the article
apply
censorship
can lead to a shrink
of the right Replace the word
shrinking
of
information of individuals. Change preposition
to
However
, I strongly believe that laws and regulations are necessary to avoid crimes.Submitted by jessica.pastor.87 on
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advice task achievement
Your essay presents relevant examples and ideas, but it could benefit from more detailed arguments in certain parts, particularly in illustrating how governments might regulate harmful content effectively without infringing upon rights. This would enhance the completeness of your response.
advice coherence cohesion
In terms of coherence and cohesion, the overall logical flow of your essay is strong, though transitions between paragraphs can be further improved. Linking sentences or phrases at the beginning of paragraphs can help make the essay feel more interconnected.
advice coherence cohesion
Try to consistently ensure that each main point made is sufficiently supported with evidence or examples. In parts of the essay, deeper analysis of examples such as those from China and Iran could strengthen the argumentation and clarity of your points.
highlight task achievement
Your task response is well-organized, addressing the question with a clear stance on the role of government in internet censorship.
highlight coherence cohesion
The essay features a strong introduction and conclusion, providing a solid framework around the main points discussed.
highlight task achievement
You effectively incorporated real-world examples that make the argument more relatable and grounded.
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