Childhood obesity has become a pressing issue in many societies

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Childhood
obesity
has become a pressing issue in many societies, with detrimental consequences for the health and well-being of young individuals.
While
there are several
factors
contributing to
this
occurrence, some argue that the
government
bears a significant
responsibility
for the
rise
in
childhood
obesity
. I strongly disagree that the
government
should take the blame solely for the
rise
in
childhood
obesity
. An argument that supports the idea that the
government
plays a pivotal role in the
rise
of
childhood
obesity
is the influence of its policies and programs. Governments have the power to regulate the food industry, implement nutrition standards in schools and support public health initiatives.
However
, it is important to note that the
responsibility
for children’s health ultimately lies with parents and guardians.
Government
policies and programs can provide guidelines and support, but they can’t replace individuals’ choices and
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
.
While
the
government
can implement measures
such
as promoting healthy school lunches and limiting the marketing of unhealthy foods to children, it cannot control what the children consume outside of school. Another perspective is that
childhood
obesity
is influenced by socioeconomic
factors
and personal
responsibility
, rather than solely being the
government
’s
responsibility
. Socioeconomic
factors
,
such
as limited access to healthy foods, safe recreational spaces and healthcare services, can significantly impact a child’s risk of
obesity
. In conclusion,
although
the
government
plays a role in addressing
childhood
obesity
through policies and programs, it would be unfair to solely attribute the
rise
in
childhood
obesity
to governmental actions. By fostering a comprehensive approach that addresses multiple
factors
, we work towards creating a healthier environment for children and promoting positive lifestyle choices.
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Introduction & Conclusion
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Logical Structure
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Task Response & Examples
While you established a clear response to the task, your essay would benefit from more specific and varied examples to support your claims. Incorporate statistics, case studies, or references to policies that vividly illustrate your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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