IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that the care of elderly people should be a priority of government spending. Others believe that government spending should focus more on young people, especially on their education. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #care #priority #government #focus #education
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There are controversial perspectives heating a debate over the government's expenditure. While some claim that the government should allocate on grey
people
Use synonyms
, the opposite makes a statement that youngsters ought to be put a higher premium on, especially their schooling. In my opinion, I would contend that it is optimal to fund both since each of them plays a paramount significant role in a nation's prosperity. It is undisputed to note that the elderly should receive support from the authorities since they are the ones who have dedicated their whole lives to the present living standards. The past generation, apparently, had worked diligently for ages to construct a wealth of advanced infrastructures which are taken advantage of by the current generation.
For example
Linking Words
, the traffic systems nowadays including roads and transportations are made up of the great effort of old workers.
Hence
Linking Words
, it is understandable that some resources ought to be diverted to the old
people
Use synonyms
. While the redeeming features of allocation on elderly
people
Use synonyms
 are widely acknowledged, it is unfair if those on young ones are ignored, especially their schooling. Obviously, education serves as a backbone industry which is the main determinant for the flourishing of one nation. Were youngsters not
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
have these high-standard aspects guaranteed, their employability might be impaired and hinder their working productivity, which in turn does the economic development a disservice.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is necessary for the governors to spend an adequate amount of money on tutoring young
people
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, both young and elderly
people
Use synonyms
 are worth being taken into consideration and getting financial support from governors.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: