IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The restoration of historic buildings in major cities around the world involves significant government expenditure. These funds could be better allocated towards the development of new housing and road infrastructure. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is sometimes believed that the government should increase expenditure on
Correct article usage
the
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development of new housing and transport infrastructure
instead
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 of restoring historic buildings.
This
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 essay totally disagrees with
this
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 suggestion for several reasons. The first argument given to support my opinion is that historic edifices play a vital role in the advancement of travel. The reason is that heritage landmarks appeal to tourists because of their timeless value.
Therefore
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, the restoration of historic structures to promote tourism will bring major economic benefits for the nation. By way of illustration, foreign tourists visit Italy because they may want to admire the beauty of the Leaning Tower of Pisa.
This
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 is why I think that the investment in the preservation of historic edifices is more valuable than housing and road infrastructure which do not have as many benefits as the former. Another point behind my belief is that the preservation of historic edifices is the protection of cultural identity.
This
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 is because culture plays an important role in strengthening a country’s spirit and
this
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also
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 represents the pride of the state. If the government reduce the expenditure on the restoration of historic buildings, these pieces will be damaged over
the
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apply
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time.
As a result
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, one day, the cultural identity of the nation will be impaired too. A case in point is that Hung Kings Temple is a destination where Vietnamese people show their respect and gratitude to the Kings in
the
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apply
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history.
For
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this
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 reason, I reckon that it is necessary to restore heritage landmarks in order to protect the historic value of the country. In conclusion, I entirely disagree with the idea that the government should prioritize spending on new housing and transportation over the restoration of historic buildings given the aforementioned arguments.

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coherence
Make sure to clearly link ideas between sentences and paragraphs to improve flow.
task achievement
You have provided clear examples to support your arguments.
coherence
Your introduction and conclusion are well-structured and summarize your main points clearly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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