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Band 5

Some people think that hosting international sports events may be beneficial for a country. Discuss both views.

#people #sports #events #country
The importance of sports is increasing day by day as it is noticed that a vast number of people are travelling to different countries. Hosting a
sport
Change the verb form
sporting
show examples
 event may have an advantage to the
country
 as many athletes are keen to know the culture of that
country
 but, there should be a
budget
 and well strategic security protection designed by the government
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 are promoting these events.
Firstly
,
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
country
 is having different rich cultures and the main importance of the government should be to promote
this
 culture.
For Instance
, In India when a guest arrives, they are welcomed with flowers and an aarti. Aarti is a Hindu ceremony in which
indian
Change the capitalization
Indian
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 people believe that all the negativities are destroyed by
this
 process. People watching at home would get inspired
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 the culture and would spot the travelling places of that
country
, which would be beneficial for the hosting
country
 because tourism would increase.
Secondly
, hosting sports events are too costly because there are many facilities provided to the athletes as well as the guests arriving
to
Change the preposition
at
in
show examples
 the
country
. A
budget
 should be designed
such
 that all the spendings should fall under these projected expenses. The
budget
 should consist of all the single expense which has to be paid by the
country
.
In addition
 to
budget
Add an article
the budget
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, security should be kept at all the points in the area where these events are held.
This
 sometimes can promote crime in that area as police are busy
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
securing the event place and not the residency. To sum up, there are benefits for the
country
 in hosting the international sports event, but lack of security for citizens and unhandled expenses would result in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 big disadvantage for the
country
.
Submitted by jainishshah0124 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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