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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Nowadays, some people believe that fashion is too important for young people and it has a negative impact on people and society. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #fashion #impact #society
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Some argue that clothing has a vital role among youths, and it can
cause
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 drawbacks as the importance of trend. I fully agree with the point of view and
this
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 essay will highlight the negatives of the perspective regarding
clothes
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 as too crucial parts of life.
To begin
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 with, the main disadvantages are that young people spend too much time and money on shopping, which can adversely impact their academic performances and
cause
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 financial issues to their family. Youngsters who are too into their appearances tend to dedicate their time to picking the attractive outfit
instead
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 of concentrating on their school courses,
as a result
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, damaging their grades.
Moreover
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, teenagers without any income will pester their parents to squander money on those overpriced stylish
clothes
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 or expensive luxury brands, which could bite into the family budget. According to recent research from a famous Chinese sociologist, more than 70
percent
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per cent
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 of
young
Correct article usage
the young
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 generation rely on their parents in order to buy name-brand
clothes
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. It is clearly seen that excessive time and money wasted on shopping can pose a threat to both studies and financial status. On top of that, placing too much value on fashion can
also
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cause
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 a social problem. Individuals who lay emphasis on stylish
clothes
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 tend to judge others by what they wear for the fashion and the value of their wearings. These days, teenagers are likely to divide financial classes by people's luxury accessories and outfits, and easily ignore or even think less of peers with cheaper-price garments.
This
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 kind of outlook on values will make our society become a money-oriented world in the long term. People will only focus on their material desires
instead
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 of spiritual needs in the future. In conclusion, I believe that the perspective of considering
clothes
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 as a core element is able to
cause
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 academic, financial, and societal problems.
Therefore
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, teenagers should take efforts to alleviate
this
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 materialistic social atmosphere.
Submitted by lslethan on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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