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Writing Samples
Band 7

The government should spend more money on medical research to protect citizens’ health rather than on protecting the environment.Do you agree or disagree?

#government #money #research #citizens’ #health #environment
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The average life expectancy of human life has decreased exponentially in recent years.
Accordingly
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, some
people
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 suggest that the government should diminish the amount of
money
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 allocated for expenditures on environmental amendments and focus on medical
research
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 and provide more economical resources
instead
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. While I accept that citizens' health is a more serious case than the
environment
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, I would argue that resorting to paying less attention to the
environment
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 is not a permanent solution. Medical
research
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are
Change the verb form
is
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 an indispensable part of society's future so I believe that it is appropriate that governments spend more
money
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 on it.
Firstly
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, the number of
disease
Change to a plural noun
diseases
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 has increased markedly and every day a new genre of disease emerges.
Thus
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, governments should direct their attention to medical
research
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 rather than environmental issues.
Secondly
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, the
environment
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 can be existed by itself without any human intervention.
Moreover
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,
research
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 indicates that the
environment
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 can rebuild itself in a short time even if
people
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devastates
Change the verb form
devastate
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 it completely so I welcome
this
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 idea.
On the other hand
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, it is not
also
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 an approach that the governments spend no
money
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 on the
environment
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. The quality of human healthcare and the healthy
environment
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 are directly proportional. To illustrate,
people
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 living in cities without any trees are more likely to catch a disease, as the air that they breathe is dirty because trees are responsible to refine air. It is unquestionable that
people
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 rely on the
environment
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 even if the
environment
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 does not. Apart from that, many doctors suggest to their patients that travelling to a place where is a repository of natural beauties may contribute to their health situations. In conclusion, I agree with the argument and it is acceptable to some extent. It may be more beneficial for
people
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 that the government
spend
Fix the infinitive
to spend
show examples
 more
money
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 on healthcare expenditures.
However
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, it should be kept in mind that the
environment
Use synonyms
 is
also
Linking Words
 a bulk part of human life.
Submitted by meliike.bekcii on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • moral obligation
  • advanced treatments
  • economic benefits
  • workforce
  • healthcare costs
  • pollution
  • climate change
  • comprehensive benefits
  • investment
  • global sustainability
  • long-term health security
  • disease proliferation
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