The mass media, including television, radio and newspapers, have great influence in shaping people's ideas. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is argued that
media
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such
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as television, radio and newspapers are very influential in shaping people's ideas. I completely agree with
this
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opinion and will substantiate my reasoning during
this
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essay. For starters, all 3
media
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outlets provide up-to-date local
as well as
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international
news
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.
This
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means that they have the viewer's trust to provide accurate and factual information
because
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because,
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before
such
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details are shared with the public, they go through a thorough screening and various editing processes.
This
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is why they have earned the public's trust. An example of
this
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can be seen through the BBC and CNN networks and other various
news
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channels.
However
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, the drawback of social
media
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,
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apply
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is that content can be uploaded onto the web by anyone under the false pretext of verified
news
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, which could skew a potential reader's impression about a certain topic. Unfortunately,
this
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is a common trend happening on many social websites. An instance of
this
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can be seen with the current pandemic, where people can be seen posting untrue particulars regarding the virus, which others believe. In conclusion, I believe that mass
media
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has a great influence on our daily lives and thereby feel they have a responsibility to ensure that they report unbiased and unprejudiced
news
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to their viewers so that the public can make their assessments on a particular topic.
Furthermore
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, I feel that social
media
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outlets
such
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as Facebook and Instagram
,
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apply
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have a moral responsibility to ensure that any content posted on their sites must be fact-checked to ensure validity.

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improvement
Your view is clear, but add more proof to back each point with simple facts or notes.
coherence
Link ideas more with clear steps like first, also, finally to help flow.
grammar
Check long sentences; use shorter lines to avoid mistakes and easy read.
content
Give more examples with dates or precise facts to show bias by media in real life.
strength
Clear stance stated at the start.
structure
Good use of the classic essay frame: intro, body and conclusion.
evidence
Use of real samples like BBC and CNN to illustrate points.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite
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