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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some parents think it is good to have mobile phones for their children, others disagree with it. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#parents #phones #children
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The current smartphone brings enormous convenience to our lives, but
on the other hand
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, it
also
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 brings negative effects to us. So, many parents have the same concern about whether they give mobile
phones
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 to their
children
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. In the following, I will discuss the advantages, disadvantages, and give my opinion. Mobile
phones
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 can be a tool to help
children
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 in their studies. Many learning apps can download on the
phone
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 quickly.
For example
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, some app is for language learning, maths practice exercise, and dictionary. Through the colourful picture and animation,
children
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 are more interested in focusing on studying.
Moreover
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, many schools have been used mobile
phones
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 in teaching and need students to discuss their assignments in the
phone
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 chat group. Apart from the study, parents
also
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 can find their kids through
phone
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 calls and knowing their
children
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's location. When the danger comes,
children
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 can call the police for help with the security problem.
However
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, there are still some negative effects on the
children
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's health, especially their eyes if they spend a lot of time on their
phones
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. Sometimes, they will easily distract by social media,
such
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 as Facebook and Instagram. They might get pressured and over-worried from the number of followers, subscriptions, and likes. They will spend lesser time with their friends and family but live in the virtual world. In summary, the ubiquity of cell
phones
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 is hard to avoid. In my opinion, the most vital thing is parents should teach their kids how to use their
phones
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 properly.
For example
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, they can limit the use time and stay with their
children
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 while playing on the
phone
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.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Mobile technology
  • parental supervision
  • safety concerns
  • educational apps
  • inappropriate content
  • cyberbullying
  • distractions
  • parental controls
  • psychosocial development
  • screen time
  • age-appropriate
  • digital literacy
  • social interaction
  • communication device
  • responsibility
  • cognitive development
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