Some people believe that travelling is a valuable experience; others say it is a waste of time and money. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #waste #time #money

Different strokes for different folks. As an outcome of the rapid globalization process, in the contemporary world, travelling has become more available, compared to the previous centuries.

However

, it is put to a debate; whether it is a vast source of gaining experience or it is a

time consuming

Add a hyphen

time-consuming

show examples

and expensive action.

This

essay

shall intend

Wrong verb form

intends

show examples

to delve into both views and will elaborate on my perspective in the following paragraphs.

To begin

with, it is often believed that there are multifarious skills

such

as sociability,

communication

Correct word choice

and communication

show examples

which can only

enhance

Wrong verb form

be enhanced

show examples

by visiting foreign countries. To explain it, if individuals travel overseas

then

they do interact with a variety of people who have different cultures and a language. In

this

way, they not only understand divergent religions but

also

broaden their mind.

Hence

, it might be beneficial for their cognitive development

as well as

give them an opportunity to learn them visually. To illustrate, a recent survey revealed that a person who commutes internationally is more gregarious and

deal

Correct subject-verb agreement

deals

show examples

with anyone effortlessly as compared to those who do not.

On the other hand

, it cannot be denied that travel abroad requires huge financial support and time. To explicate it, there are a plethora of tourist places where the cost of excursions is very costly

includes

Wrong verb form

including

show examples

a ticket fare, cost of accommodation, food and so on.

Therefore

, an immense amount of money is obligatory.

Moreover

, in order to enjoy fully in non-native countries. It requires a lot of time. So, people who are working in a company have to take a leave for several days which is

also

a very big decision for middle-class workers. To recapitulate,

according to

contemplate

Replace the word

contemplation

show examples

exploring is a good way to make the strong root of the social quality and essential priceless experience. But

along with

this

, it requires an abundance of money

as well as

a precious hour which is not feasible for all generations.

Submitted by prabhjotkaur9520 on Thu Nov 18 2021

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task response

Your essay adequately responds to the task, presenting both views and clearly stating your own opinion. Well done.

coherence cohesion

Your essay demonstrates a logical structure, but some parts could be more cohesive and connected for better flow and coherence. Work on linking your ideas more effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

321 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

broadens horizons
cultural exposure
tolerance
self-reliance
overcoming challenges
language proficiency
sustainable tourism
environmental footprint
cultural homogenization
commercialization
responsible travel
global understanding
eco-friendly practices
accessible alternatives

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Some people believe that travelling is a valuable experience; others say it is a waste of time and money. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some employers are giving more value on hiring people with good social skills apart from good qualifications. Do you agree or disagree that social skills are just as crucial as good qulification for success work?

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their level of health is decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken?

The increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. What are the cause of this ? what can be done to solve this problem.