Some people believe that travelling is a valuable experience; others say it is a waste of time and money. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Different strokes for different folks. As an outcome of the rapid globalization process, in the contemporary world, travelling has become more available, compared to the previous centuries.
However
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, it is put to a debate; whether it is a vast source of gaining experience or it is a
time consuming
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time-consuming
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and expensive action.
This
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essay
shall intend
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intends
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to delve into both views and will elaborate on my perspective in the following paragraphs.
To begin
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with, it is often believed that there are multifarious skills
such
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as sociability,
communication
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and communication
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which can only
enhance
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be enhanced
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by visiting foreign countries. To explain it, if individuals travel overseas
then
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they do interact with a variety of people who have different cultures and a language. In
this
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way, they not only understand divergent religions but
also
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broaden their mind.
Hence
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, it might be beneficial for their cognitive development
as well as
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give them an opportunity to learn them visually. To illustrate, a recent survey revealed that a person who commutes internationally is more gregarious and
deal
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deals
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with anyone effortlessly as compared to those who do not.
On the other hand
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, it cannot be denied that travel abroad requires huge financial support and time. To explicate it, there are a plethora of tourist places where the cost of excursions is very costly
includes
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including
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a ticket fare, cost of accommodation, food and so on.
Therefore
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, an immense amount of money is obligatory.
Moreover
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, in order to enjoy fully in non-native countries. It requires a lot of time. So, people who are working in a company have to take a leave for several days which is
also
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a very big decision for middle-class workers. To recapitulate,
according to
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my
contemplate
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contemplation
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exploring is a good way to make the strong root of the social quality and essential priceless experience. But
along with
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this
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, it requires an abundance of money
as well as
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a precious hour which is not feasible for all generations.
Submitted by prabhjotkaur9520 on

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task response
Your essay adequately responds to the task, presenting both views and clearly stating your own opinion. Well done.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a logical structure, but some parts could be more cohesive and connected for better flow and coherence. Work on linking your ideas more effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • broadens horizons
  • cultural exposure
  • tolerance
  • self-reliance
  • overcoming challenges
  • language proficiency
  • sustainable tourism
  • environmental footprint
  • cultural homogenization
  • commercialization
  • responsible travel
  • global understanding
  • eco-friendly practices
  • accessible alternatives
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