Some health professionals suggest that older people spend more time socializing with others and playing sports to stay healthy, but many retired people have experienced loneliness and a lack of fitness. Why has this happened? What can be done to address this?

#health #professionals #people #time #sports #loneliness #lack #fitness #address

In the contemporary

era

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,era

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a medicine is

evaluating

Wrong verb form

evaluated

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with light speed, which means that geriatrics have more opportunities to enjoy

retire

Change the form of the verb

retired

show examples

life

However

, there are numerous provokers for living unhappy golden age and many solutions can be deduced by

government

Correct article usage

the government

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and society. The causes of

this

appear to be focused on two areas, and a number of remedies

also

appear to be possible. Perhaps one of the causes of the problem is that modern people tend to overwork by

motivation

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the motivation

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of getting an excessive amount of money to live

its

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

entire

life

by using them, meaning that from dust till dawn they obsessed only with work and career ladder movement, and forget to enjoy

life

at the moment.

For example

, my neighbour was

hard working

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hard-working

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, and never had time for friends, children and hobbies.

This

pattern appears to be global, with the result that now she

is not have

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does not have

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any friends with whom she can pass

enjoyable

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the enjoyable

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time, her children living their own

life

and visiting her once a year

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because they do not feel that they have strong family bonds with her,

consequently

, she is depressed and lonely.

Moreover

, another issue is that inflation on services and goods is not allowing pensioners to live happily, because pensions size enough only for cheap groceries and utilities.

For instance

, a size of monthly payment for my grandmother is 60 000 tenge,

where

Correct word choice

whereas

show examples

only standard

package

Fix the agreement mistake

packages

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for groceries from Magnum will cost at least 40 000

tenge

Change to a plural noun

tenges

show examples

Therefore

, she cannot afford to go out for dinner with friends in restaurants or enjoy the sea breeze overseas. Regarding potential solutions, probably the immediate step would be proper financing from the government.

This

could be done

through

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increasing the

amount

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number

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of payments to cure

this

problem.

This

result

Correct your spelling

inability

show examples

ability

Add an article

the ability

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to enjoy the rest of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

life

for old-age pensioners.

Furthermore

, another possible remedy may be agitation from information

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

, where people will get

knowledge

Add an article

the knowledge

show examples

that they have to live now, because tomorrow will not be, and yesterday cannot be changed. In conclusion, the main problems with loneliness and depression are the financing of wrinklies and

pursue

Replace the word

pursuit

show examples

to be

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

rich, and these can be solved through the successful financing plan from politicians along with healthy

life

propaganda from

media

Correct article usage

the media

show examples

Submitted by sabina.tazhibeko on Fri Nov 19 2021

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

376 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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Some health professionals suggest that older people spend more time socializing with others and playing sports to stay healthy, but many retired people have experienced loneliness and a lack of fitness. Why has this happened? What can be done to address this?

Fully explain your ideas

Many people say that companies should give importance to their employees, whereas others say that they should give importance to customers. discus both view and give your opinion.

In the past, when students did a university degree, they tended to study in their own country. Nowadays, they have more opportunity to study abroad. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house ar building they live in.

some people claim that not enough of waste from home is recycled. They say that the only way to increase the recycling is for government to make it a legal requirement. To what extent do you think laws are needed to make people recycle most of their wastes.